When We Were Wildflowers

Chapter 9 - Full Moon

Poppy's mom dances barefoot sprinkling fresh rosemary, basil and oregano into a bubbling pot of tomato sauce. Dolly Parton's greatest hits steam from her phone to a small portable speaker on the kitchen table. She sings along to the song "Coat of Many Colors," doing a good impression of Dolly as she stirs and the herbs release their magical fragrance into the steamy air. The golden breeze from an open window above the sink wafts the scent of homemade pizza sauce through the narrow doorway, into the living room, where Poppy and I sit at a folding card table.

"So, you have five community cards in the middle and two cards in your hand. You have to mix and match them to make the best five-card hand possible, like poker. You know how to play poker right?" Poppy stares down at me with patient eyes. In her hands is a yellowed, worn deck of playing cards.

"I know there's something called a full house and a royal flush, but that's about it." I wipe sweat from my brow.  Although there are window AC units, the air in the old farmhouse is thicker and stickier than what I'm used to. An oscillating fan blows in the corner, but fails to bring the temperature down to a comfortable range. "Go ahead and deal the cards. I'll figure it out."

Poppy shuffles and deals the cards expertly, like she may have a part-time job at a casino I don't know about.

I raise an eyebrow. "You're good at that."

Poppy smiles. "I used to play a lot with my dad. He loved playing Texas Hold 'Em."

"Loved?" I'm confused. Past tense indicates maybe Poppy's dad no longer exists, but she told me he was out of the picture. Which is it? Death or divorce?

Poppy's gaze falls to the cards in her hand and she frowns. "He doesn't play poker anymore. At least not with me."

I breathe a sigh of relief. "Divorce?"

"Not exactly." Poppy bites her bottom lip and studies me carefully for my reaction. "Can you keep a secret? 

I nod yes.

"He's in prison."

My jaw instinctively drops and I fall back in my chair in utter shock, but under Poppy's curious gaze, I quickly adjust my posture and contort my splayed face into a normal expression. The word "prison" reverberates in my body. It bounces between my ears, plummets like a pinball to the pit of stomach, and ultimately lodges itself my throat. "Seriously?"

She nods and slumps in her seat, her eyes welling up with tears. "I wish it wasn't true, but it is. Three yeas ago." 

What do I say now? I shake my head in disbelief and the silence grows between us. My mind is useless at forming a coherent thought, let alone a comforting sentence to ease her sadness. I'm thinking about myself. My best friend's father is a felon. 

"I bet you feel differently about me now." A single tear traces a curve on Poppy's cheek. She is quick to wipe it away. 

"No, I don't." My words ring hollow and I consider delivering the message again with more conviction, but that could make things worse. I can't bring myself to look her in the eyes for fear she will see through my lie--and I will see a different Poppy. A broken one. Not the carefree, spirited person I met on the playground a week ago. "It's not your fault."

"Yeah, it's not, but sometimes it feels like Mom and me are being punished too." 

"I'm so sorry, Poppy." I drop my cards and pat the back of her hand, staring at her long fingers, stacked silver rings, and sapphire-painted nails. It's all I can think to do, but it doesn't seem like enough. "That must be really hard."

She sniffles then shakes her sadness away, like it's as simple as tossing your hair over your shoulders. "Enough of that depressing stuff. Let's play."

I nod and dare to look Poppy in the eyes. On the surface, she is the still the same girl with cheerful with a carefree smile, but there is a dullness in her gaze. A pain lingering in the depths of her soul. Maybe it's been there all along, but once Poppy trusted me with her secret, I can't unsee it. Now, I am aware of the burden she carries. In one intuitive glance, the truth of hurt and loss crosses the space between us and settles in my heart. Heavy and unescapable.