Shadow of a Grave ✧ Sebastian Sallow

chapter nine ✧ sleepless

Plague by Seahaven

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Trigger Warning: This chapter includes sensitive conduct - please see the comment for a full description of conduct. 

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Sebastian Sallow thought about running away. His hand had been on the knob of the front door to leave before he realized, this was what he had always done and it only ever made his life harder. It seemed always to be his first impulse when life suddenly became too overwhelming for him. 

After he killed his uncle, he tried to do the same thing. Ominis had found him packing his bags at school and forbade him from leaving. He was young and full of guilt, but he ended up staying. Although for months he had considered leaving still. Everywhere he went it felt like he hadn't belonged there and didn't deserve to be among his friends. The rest of the year he had shut down and avoided everyone, including his Amelia. The impulse to run away slowly began to die down with the more time they had spent together. Between Ominis and Amelia, neither allowed him to act so recklessly when he got stressed. They grounded him and kept him sane for the rest of their school years. 

When Anne died that had been his breaking point. Neither of them could stop him from leaving. 

There was nothing that either could say that would have worked. His heart was broken and he didn't know how to cope with the loss. It had felt like his world had been shattered overnight, there was nowhere he could go without being confronted with her death, all he knew was that he needed to leave. There wasn't a home to return to without a family and it had only taken hours for him to lose his. Five years of damage had been done from him leaving that day.

Now it was Amelia's death that made him want to run away once again. But he knew if he ran away again, things would only be worse. 

Sebastian wasn't alone as he had been before, he had a daughter now. Annabel needed him.

"Mind if I join you?" Poppy asked softly.

It hadn't been a real question as she struggled to slowly sit down next to him on the floor of the porch. The growing stomach had made it difficult for her to balance as she awkwardly sat down. Sebastian did his best to offer a helping hand.

"Thank you," She smiled finally sitting next to him, "I'm sorry that we didn't tell you about the vow sooner."

Rather than running away from his problem, he had decided to go outside the mixed-shift backyard to clear his head. His heart was still broken by the knowledge of the broken vow. There wasn't enough of fresh air great enough to clear his judgment, however.

"You should be sorry that you made a vow at all," Sebastian couldn't help but lash out still, "You knew it was a bad idea and you still let them do it?"

"I know," Poppy confessed, "But you know how those two are. Nothing we could have said was going to stop them."

Even if it was true, it didn't make any of it seem any better. His two best friends have written him out of their lives. His Amelia had protested for the promise of a life with him, just to simply give in, for nothing. For a null condition because she believed in his words. She sacrificed a life that she wanted for nothing and he couldn't make sense out of it. 

All Sebastian could do was hate himself. If he hadn't knocked on her door that night, she would still be alive. Her life had been fine until he came back.