Tough love

LISA

Next day you meet lisa . She is nice and an overexcited girl. You liked her but she is just so much attached only on the first day , she seemed to trust you more than anyone. She wanted to meet you because she read your poems and wanted to talk about them.

But to be honest , you didn't  like that ..Lisa reminds you of your past , the past where she come just like Lisa and leave with no explanations.
It still haunts like the way you had cried for her , every night and day you just think about the time you had  spent with her.
All you ever wanted to do is just talking to her but no.. you were not even that fated . Everything got messed up , your feelings were controlling you to such an extent that all you could think about is forever , you forgot to live the present .

One thing you love the most about Lisa was her laugh , she make everyone look at her when she laugh.

Time skipped

It was the last class and you were writing a poem titled " Grateful".

" How can you study all day 😪?  " jungkook stated

" I am writing a poem , not studying " you answer without looking at him.

" oh god! One more depressing trait.
Can you just look around yourself and enjoy what actually happening rather than this fully imagined world ?" He was irritated a little bit by your this behavior,  you stay quite a lot and he don't  like it.

You didn't  answer.

" You know what ? You won't  clear the exam for med school and suicide " He aggressively said and went away from here.

And a tear fall on your poem making it more painful than ever.
It hurts , when someone else states your fears with such surety. You ask yourself
" Why are you living when you're  gonna suicide ?" It was your inner voice full of insecurities.

The voices in your head was suddenly back all over again .

And all you were thinking was  about
" you won't  clear the exam for med exam and suicide "

" you won't  clear the exam for med school and suicide "

" you won't  clear the exam for med school and suicide "

"you won't  clear the exam for med school and suicide "

" you won't  clear the exam for med school and suicide"

Nothing just these words .......
For a second , your old depressing  self was back... your mind was blank and just tears......

Ringggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Your thoughts get interrupted  by the bell, school was over now which means it was worst now.

Tears were not stopping and no one noticed.

At night

You were on bed , under sheets , lights off , earphones on and guess what

Your were crying.... yes you were.

You knew only one thing and that is
" You won't  clear exam for med school and suicide"

Your energy was already driven by crying for almost 3 hours but no that sentence didn't  get enough of you.

It was killing you.

You stand up from bed and went to washroom , you looked your reflection in the mirror.. and....and...

You broke down once again after finding yourself so much broken and hurt.
You eyes were hurting and your cheeks were dry but those tears didn't  stop...
not even for a sec.

You blame nothing and no one but you.

" I shouldn't write poem in school " you sobbed
" I'll...never write..poem ..ever again...in school....."

You were struggling to breathe but those tears still didn't  stop.

" Why am I like this? " Your last whisper before going to bed .