The Shadows Have No Face || 𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑

Not So Different

My eyes didn't open immediately. For a few moments, I couldn't even feel my own body. Just the weight of it all crashing down on me. Everything was so heavy. It was such a pain to feel.

I eventually woke, and as I did, I could suddenly feel again. Like being punched in the gut. Suddenly, I had to force myself to breathe. I had to move in order to remove this pain.

I sat up so fast that my head spun. Gasping a breath, I started seeing what was around me. A room. My room, I was in my room. In the House of Wind.

Someone placed a hand on my back, between the scars that kept me from being able to fully exist. I shivered and turned to see the shadowsinger sitting beside my bed. My hands shook and twitched in his direction. I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around him. To hold and be held by him. But I knew I couldn't. Something kept me from it.

"You're alright, and safe," he said, before picking up a glass of water and bringing the rim to my lips. "Drink, you've been asleep."

I gulped down the water, feeling like I was literally drinking my life. It filled my empty stomach and cooled me from the inside out. I exhaled and gave the empty glass back to him.

"How long?" I asked.

"All day. The others just finished dinner," he responded.

I nodded my head slowly. Hesitantly, my hand rubbed over the bandage that wrapped around my stomach. It still ached, but it wasn't nearly as painful as when it happened.

He watched me with furrowed brows. "I'll get Mor." He started to stand, and I grabbed his hand.

"No, it's okay. Stay... please?" He eased back into the chair and looked down to where our hands met. I expected him to pull away, but he didn't. He held my hand so softly.

"So, I guess we're leaving tomorrow instead?" I breathed a laugh.

He raised a brow. "You still want to go?"

I moved, so it was more comfortable to sit in the bed. "Of course. I'll be fine as always. Besides, we have a job to do."

"Nia," he started, tripping on his words a little. "You almost died out there." His voice lowered slightly, and he looked up at me. The darkness in his eyes—I hated when that darkness was in his eyes.

I squeezed his hand. "But I'm not dead—not yet."

He stared at me for a moment, eyes scanning my face and every speck of color in my eyes. He sighed and leaned further into the chair. I couldn't help but feel the heat of the room. The tension that hung where our hands touched.

"Is everyone else okay?" I asked, trying desperately to keep my mind on something else.

He nodded. "Elain had a couple of scratches, but was fine."

"And... you?"

He didn't answer.

I pursed my lips and took a deep breath before turning my head away. I couldn't help but feel... something. The worst part about being close to the shadowsinger was how much I felt things I didn't know. Things I had never felt before, and never expected to ever feel in my long life. Yet, with him, I always felt things I couldn't put a name to. And it scared me.

"Are we going to talk about... what happened last night?" It was so—so hard to ask that. Like I was forced to say it. Mother above, I wish I didn't have to ask it. But it was a question necessary. Especially after I almost died.

"What do you want to hear?" There was a bite to his voice, and it tempted me to let anger bubble up inside.

"I want an answer," I said back to him without looking his way.