Sunshine and Lollipops- Solangelo Mortal AU

Chapter 8

My pic, If you can tell what it is, good job- if not, I barely can, so don't feel bad :) It's Nico crouching down/sitting curled into a ball?

I am not romanticizing self-harm. This is only for the story. Do not do this at home, kids.

Nico pov
(SELF-HARM, Language) 

I'm still in shock, I can't believe that I just told them everything like that. My phone had buzzed a thousand times until Will turned off my notifications.

The car stops. Why are we stopping? Oh, right. We're here. At Will's house. Will. Will is snapping my fingers, trying to get my attention. I focus on him "What?"

He looks concerned as he repeats "I asked if you're okay. We're here now."
"Oh"

He's trying to kick me out of the car. But I don't want people interaction right now. I resign myself and nod. I reach under the seat for my backpack, which Will had somehow gotten on the way out of the Café.

When I come in the house, I remember I haven't seen Will's mom yet. I should probably meet her and say sorry for intruding. And actually ask her if I can keep staying. Kayla is flopped down on the couch, like in the morning. I nod to her in greeting. I don't think my vocal chords can work right now.

"What's wrong with you? You look like a car ran you over. And more pale then usual." I feel myself pinken up (A/N I fucking know that's not a word, but I made it up so shush).

Will gestures at her to shut up. Kayla raises her eyebrows and says "OK. What happened?" I hear actual concern in her voice now.  I shake my head, feeling miserable. I don't deserve hers, or anyone's concern.

I whisper to Will, "Can I talk to your mom later?" I see him nod.
"You can talk to her later, after you're better. I know you didn't mean for them to know any of that, much less the gay and kicked-out part. If anybody comes, Kay won't let them in until you're ready. Right Kayla?" 

She sighs dramatically , but nods nonetheless. I feel horrible. First, I come into their home, eat their food, get a ride in their car, and now they're my personal body guards too?

I smile weakly and nod a thanks. I follow Will up the stairs as he goes, glancing down at me every few steps. Usually I would be annoyed and push him down the stairs or something, but I don't feel like it now.

After I go to the horrible bright yellow room that I also stole residence in, I ask him if I could maybe shower. He gives me a weird look, and I rush to say that I don't have to, but he quickly stops me. 

"No, it's fine, just thought you would like to eat first."

I relax a tiny fraction and shake my head. "Can I eat after please?"

He looks concerned, but nods. Another thing I'm making them change. Postponing their dinner. Using their shower. I don't deserve this. I'm mooching off of somebody nice.

With shaking hands, I grab my backpack, and gratefully accept the towel Solace gives me. Yet another thing.

As I lock the door behind me, I turn on the shower, strip my clothes, and step in, tears already blurring my eyes. No. I need to keep it in. I wipe my eyes and quickly start washing with the soap I stole from Hades' house when I left. When I'm done, I quickly wash my hair. I don't turn off the faucet, but get out and dry off anyway. With a towel around my waist and the shower running, I look at myself in the mirror. Heavy bags from sleepless nights on the streets. My pasty vampire skin. Thin as a stick from not eating.

I sit down and lean against the sink cupboards. I get the box that I used 2 weeks ago. I take out the razor sharp blades, and look at them intently. There's a speck of blood from when I used it. I thought of what Hazel and the others would think. They'd probably think I was a coward for doing it. I was a coward, so I always do it again and again.