𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 [𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰]

𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Toji helps you set up your apartment, and you try not to cry every single time you look at him. You try to maintain your composure and to not burst into tears at every subtle touch that he gives you. You try your best to remain strong but you're so fucking emotional that it takes every fiber of your being to not break down every time he speaks. You have no idea how you're going to uphold a poker face while you have a conversation about what's going on and what you'll end up doing.

You sit in the corner of your room, trying your best to hide from him as he does whatever he does. You want him to leave. You hope that by hiding he'll take the hint, but you should know better. Toji's stubborn, that's what he has shown you the past months. Yet you still sit in the corner of your new room, until Toji stumbles in. His gaze falls on you immediately, your hiding spot to no avail. He furrows his brows in confusion, wondering why you're sitting there with your knees to your chest.

He walks over to you, crouching down and asking, "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing." You answer. He grabs your hands, pulling you up from your not-so-comfortable seat on the floor. Your eyes fall on the ground, staring at your feet because staring at him will make the tears spill out.

"We should talk." He says, and you shake your head. His hand goes under your chin and he tilts your head up. You look into his eyes and that's what causes your tears to spill out. You fucking hate how beautiful they are. His thumbs wipe away the tears that stream down your cheeks, "C'mon, we can talk about this. Don't cry, baby. You have no reason to cry."

"I have every reason to cry, Toji." Your voice breaks. He lets go of you, and you turn your head so he doesn't see you cry. You stand in tension for a minute before you clear your throat, "I don't care what you want me to do. I'm keeping the baby, and we're not getting back together."

"Why do you want to do this to yourself?" A hint of annoyance appears in his voice and you try to ignore it but it only makes your tears worse.

"I want you out, Toji. You only see this baby as a means to get back together, and since that isn't happening, you're upset." You're clearly irritated but your emotion doesn't translate well with the mix of tears that run down your cheeks. "I don't want to see you again! You're so fucking selfish."

"Why do you want to have a baby with a man that you don't want a relationship with? You're a smart woman, use your fucking brain." He completely drops the act of the loving husband, and you wish you could say that you didn't miss it, that you prefer him being completely honest; but in reality, you don't. You want him to at least pretend to be sweet. It gives you hope for a better future that isn't there. "If you don't want to see me again, get a fucking abortion."

"Just get out, Toji. I'm not forcing you to stay in my life." You raise your voice at him, and he clicks his tongue. He takes a deep breath before he mutters,

"I have no idea why you're so insistent on doing this." It's not meant to be heard loud and clear, just something that he wants to get out of his mind without getting an actual response. You're clearly upset, the last thing he wants is to hear your answer right now. But you do hear it.

"I never want to see you again! Get the fuck out!" Your hands go to his chest and you try to push him out, but his feet are planted on the floor. Toji is huge, too big for you to move. "Get out, Toji! I don't need anything from you."

"C'mon, baby. Let's talk about this." He puts on the same act as before, his voice sweet as ever. You're trying everything to get him to move, but he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a hug. You begin to cry into his chest while you continue trying to move him. "I'm just confused, honey. You wouldn't want to have a kid with someone that you don't want to see again."