Tension - Alex Morgan [GxG]

Part 34

Y/N's POV:

"I've done your desk and bedside tables", Alex told me as she fell back onto the bed with a tired sigh. I just grunted in reply as I carried on sorting through my closet. 

"Babe you okay?", she asked quietly as she sat up in the bed. I was so focused on what I was doing that I didn't even hear her question, or her light footsteps as she walked up and knelt beside me. I was sorting through some sweaters and hoodies, then stopped as I noticed one of Abby's oversized sweaters in the pile. I ran my fingers over the embroidered 'A.D.' on the sleeve.

"Is that Abby's?", Alex suddenly said in my ear as I finally noticed her by my side.

"I think so, must have left it", I muttered as I stuffed it into one of the suitcases. "I'll give it back at our next camp", I told her when I noticed her giving me a weird look. 

I felt Alex snake an arm around mine as she rested her head on my shoulder, watching me complete my packing with tired eyes. I finished stuffing the rest of my clothes into my suitcases and then slowly started to get up. I lifted Alex's head off my shoulder and stood up with a tired sigh. She awoke from her half sleepy daze and looked up at me with tired eyes. I held out my hand for her, she grabbed onto me and I slowly pulled her up and walked her to my bed to take  a nap.

I sat up as I leaned against the head board, stroking Alex's hair as she fell back into her sleep with a happy sigh. I tried to join her and fall asleep but my head was filled with thoughts and emotions. I felt quite melancholy to be leaving England, it had become a second home to me and whilst I was ecstatic to be returning to the States it was definitely harder than I thought to leave behind my WSL team.

I felt physically and emotionally drained and there was no kind of break between seasons for me to rest, with the conflicting WSL and NWSL schedules it meant I had no break. The end of the WSL season was about halfway through the NWSL season so it meant I had to fly into New York and start training with my new team almost immediately. It hadn't even been a week since the Champions League final, the initial celebrations finally died out eventually and after some tough goodbyes I was feeling slightly heavy and burdened. It was one of my last days in England and in all honesty I wasn't prepared for so much change.

I sat in my thoughts for over half an hour when Alex began to stir. "Y/N? Are you awake?", she asked me in her raspy, confused voice. "It's okay Alex, go back to sleep", I whispered quietly as I continued stroking her hair but she sat up with a slight frown as she turned to face me.

"Talk to me babe, what's going on in that mind?", she pleaded as she softly stroked my cheek.

 "I'm just tired, and stressed, and sad, and-"

"Are you regretting your decision to come back?", she asked quietly.

"No Alex I've told you time and time again, I'm happy to come back to the States but it doesn't mean I can't be sad about leaving", I told her as I huffed slightly. She moved off me and leaned against the headboard as she looked down and played with her fingers.

After a minute or so of silence Alex spoke up again in a timid voice, "Do you miss Abby?".

I sighed loudly, "Alex please don't start I'm too tired for this".

"Y/N...you were staring at her sweater intently for a little too long, I was just beginning to wonder if maybe-"

"Alex this is crazy, stop it. I am so fucking tired right now, I stared at the wall for nearly ten minutes earlier too, does that mean I am in love with the wall?", I asked, feeling my irritation rising.

"Just stop it Y/N, forget I ever mentioned it", she turned over with a huff. I stared at her turned back for a few seconds and sighed, then I got off the bed and walked over to my balcony. I could feel Alex's eyes burning into my back for a few seconds as I leaned out and looked at the city, then I heard her pull the blanket over her face. 

Mixed into the afternoon sounds of the city below me I was sure I could hear quiet sniffling from behind me. I leaned my forearms on the railings and put my head down as I tried to stop tears from escaping my eyes. At this point I was almost too tired to cry as well, I stood up straight and walked out the room, heading to the fridge in the kitchen to crack open a beer.

I sat in the living room for a couple of minutes, which soon turned into a couple of hours. I got up eventually to start making some dinner. I felt awful about how I had low key snapped at Alex. I took out the ingredients to prepare her favourite vegan meal, hoping it was even some what of an apology. 

I put the dish into the oven and then leaned my head on the cool counter of the kitchen island. I didn't hear the footsteps approaching me, I only felt arms wrap around my waist and as a head rested between my shoulder blades. As soon as I felt Alex's arms around me tighten I immediately broke down into tears on the counter, despite how hard I had tried to keep them in. Alex rubbed my back and arms in a comforting manner as she allowed me to pour out my emotions. Almost immediately after I began to feel much lighter. 

Eventually I stood up straighter and turned around to face Alex. She was quick to open up her arms and I wasted no time in falling into her as I buried my face into the crook of her neck. "I'm so sorry", I mumbled into her. She shook her head gently as she ran her hand up and down my back.

"Come sit Y/N", she told me quietly as she led me to the living room. I lied down on the sofa as she placed my head on her lap. "Talk to me Y/N", she encouraged gently as her fingers ran through my hair.

"I'm so tired. I just feel exhausted right now...and there's no time for rest", I admitted quietly as she hummed and urged me to continue. "And I promise I am happy to be coming back to the States with you. And I promise you I don't miss Abby or love Abby. I love you and only you and I'm sorry if I was looking at the sweater weirdly or something, maybe I was just admiring the quality of the embroidery or something", I smiled lightly as I tried to lighten the mood slightly. "I'm sorry for taking out my stress on you, everything's just been a whirlwind recently", I told her with a sigh.

"I just want you to talk to me okay babe", she looked down at me with a small smile and slightly watery eyes and I nodded softly. "I promise", I told her sincerely as I bought one of her hands down to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on the back.

I sat up after a few minutes and turned to sit face to face with Alex. "You're so pretty", I told her and she pushed me back lightly as she hid her smile. "Alex...I am sorry if I made you feel unloved or unwanted or-"

"You didn't babe, you know how I like to over think things sometimes", she tried to reassure me with a small smile.

"No baby, I know I act like an asshole sometimes and I say things that make you feel crazy or something, I'm really sorry", I told her as I bought my hand up to stroke her jaw gently. Alex stared back at me with soft expectant eyes, "no more bottling stuff inside okay?", she told me in almost a whisper as I nodded at her slowly. She slowly leaned in closer to me until our lips connected for a few seconds.

"I love you Y/N, I really really do", she whispered as she pulled back slightly and rested her forehead against mine.

"I love you Alex, I really rea-", I was suddenly interrupted by the oven alarm. "Ah that's dinner, I made your favourite...to say I'm sorry", and she instantly grinned and ran to the kitchen to turn the oven off. I held back for a minute until I heard Alex scream excitedly like a child from the kitchen as she opened the oven door and took a whiff, "I LOVE YOU Y/N".