words || l.r.h

11

After asking for my address to put in his GPS, we drove in silence for awhile. My house was only 20 minutes away from Ashton's but it felt like an eternity being in this silence with Luke. SIlence with him was usual, but instead of the warm blanket and comfort I got from his lack of speaking, it felt thick and uncomfortable.

"Why'd you wait for me?" I asked him, my words coming out before I could process them.

He was staring straight ahead at the road, his knuckles tight around the wheel. His brows furrowed in thought, and flicked a quick glance at me before answering.

"I didn't want you to get abandoned. And when I saw Sadie frantic, I thought I would help. I care about you, Kendall." He said, taking me back a bit with his last statement.

"I couldn't tell." I answered shortly, a small part of my anger rising up again inside of me.

"What do you mean? Would I of stayed an extra hour at a party I didn't want to be at in the first place if I didn't care about you? I just wanted you to be safe." He said, anger tinging his voice for the first time.

"Well, you certainly have a funny way of showing it. I feel like i'm constantly trying to chase our friendship. You have so many walls up, I can never tell if you actually want to be my friend or are just tolerating my existence." I let myself ramble. It was all bottled up inside me the past few weeks, and it just started to spill out.

Luke was quiet for another moment, seeming to be processing my words. He looked a bit hurt, and guilt flooded through me for a moment.

"I'm bad at talking. Like in general. I always have been, and it's hard for me to really let it all go and be carefree. " he started, running his hand through his hair as he spoke.

"I'm just sorry. And don't cut me off saying to not apologize" He said, noticing I was about to speak and do exactly that. "I'm actually sorry. I didn't want you to be upset, I didn't think it would come across that rude. I just kind of withdrawal." He said softly.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for overreacting. I just like being your friend, and I'm glad you could tell me that." I said, looking over at him stare ahead at the road.

We sat in silence for a moment, not sure what to say to each other. I knew Luke struggled with communication, I could tell that from the first day I met him. I just didn't think he knew, I wrote it off as the blissful unawareness that all guys possess. But he was fully aware, and it's obviously something he thought about a lot and let's bother him. 

"So.... are we good?" He asked me, once we pulled into my driveway.

"We are good. I don't like being mad, or mad at you I should say. Still got to finish this article too, and that would make it awkward." I said, giving him a small smile.

"Hey, you can always interview Calum. He'd be delighted." Luke joked, shoving my arm a bit.

"I think he's too busy moving in on Sadie. Did you see them tonight? " I asked him, happy the conversation was moving out of it's serious nature. 

"Oh yeah, and he talked about her quite a bit too.... I saw you got to meet Ashton." he said to me, avoiding eye contact.

"Don't judge me. I don't have time for that." I said, feeling myself blush all over. 

"Hey, hey I'm not judging you. My mom raised a feminist, okay?" he said, raising his hands up in defense and getting a laugh out of me ,"All I'm saying is that, I know Ashton. He's a decent guy, he just... didn't seem like the type of guy you'd go for." He said lightly at the end, exhaling whatever breath he was holding.