Be a fixer

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by N0thing4You

by N0thing4You

TW?// drug abuse

"How's your mom doing?", she asks from the side.

"She's good" I say as I know I am lying.

She believes me, every single word I am saying, not one word doubted.

But in reality... she's not good.

She's shaking, and vomiting, and crying and panicking...

but I think I can fix her and so do you.

"She's got a problem", my brain says to me.

But I say "I can fix her."

Words flow out my mouth like the Mississippi river flowing downstream.

"What can I do? What can I say, to make her feel better? I. Can. Fix. Her."

But I wish I knew... nothing. would. work.

I was weak and I thought I could fix the impossible.

So I tried to "fix her", but my words, nor I were enough...

10 year old me was scared to lose the person that mattered most to her.

But little me lost her anyway.

I think what I could've done better.

Part of me thinks it is a fraction of my fault and it will stay like that.

And that same part of me thinks I didn't do enough to help her.

- n

(Hello! I hope you like this part of my poetry collection and I appreciate you reading it. Let me know your thoughts :))