Fifty shades of tired

Don't be pale

TW//  racism, bullying.

"You're not a person," they say to me as a young girl.

"You're not a c c e p t e d".

"You're not like us."

" I only invited you because you have never been to my house."

All. Because. Im. White.

Silky long brown hair pulled up into a tight ponytail,

floating in the air as I walk to my new classroom.

Bright red shirt with the printed school logo over by left breast.

Navy blue skirt sitting patiently on the top of my kneecaps.

And eyes wondering where I will fit.

Eyes staring at me from all directions and looks of disgust pass by me like I am some foreign object.

Familiar faces from previous years stare back at me and I watch them smile at each other.

They seem to be plotting a plan in their mind, but what is it?

Is it simply because I am new?

Or is it more than that?

My skin... Pale, crispy, smooth skin, the filling of an oreo in a bowl of brown pudding.

"Where do I go?", I ask myself.

Questions floating in the aura of mine sink me down, like a ship dragged underwater after a storm.

I feel misplaced in this water, I feel a l o n e.

More comments than ever before are made about me.

"You smell bad", "You smell," , "You can't sit with us", "What. Are. You. Doing?"

I don't respond, I sit back, I spectate, I leave them alone.

"Head up", "walk through it", "don't mind it", "they are just jealous" they say.

I feel like an imposter, so I am sorry I cannot change myself.

I feel just as odd and off as you do.

-n

( Heyyy! This piece was based on the racism i experienced when I was little. If you have ever been through something like this, know that you are not alone. Thank you for reading this and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day/night! <3)