Melodic Tales [One Shot Collections]

OneShot#3: Piano in the Dark

Piano in the Dark
by:

"Saan ka galing, Reign?" matabang at malamig na tanong ng asawa ko sa'kin.

Alam kong mag-aaway na naman kami kaya umiwas nalang ako agad pagkasabi kong nag-overtime ako. I just hate it that he followed me.

I stopped and faced him. "Bakit ka pa ba nagtatanong?" I asked him. "It's as if you care. Don't bother asking if you just want to start a fight."

"Don't bother answering if you're just saying a lie," he said. "Hindi ka nag-overtime sa opisina. Tumawag ako doon at wala ka raw."

Woah? Now he knows how to investigate? "E ano naman sa'yo kung hindi ako sa opisina nanggaling?"

"Sa lalaki mo ba?" he coldly asked.

I felt my heart stabbed. Hindi ko talaga gustong pinagbibintangan ako ng mga bagay na hindi ko naman ginagawa... especially that issue of loyalty. We fight all the time, but I never ever thought of doing that to him.

"Bakit hindi ka na sumagot?" he asked again.

"Tumugtog ako kasama sina Alaisa," I honestly answered. "Kung ayaw mong maniwala, edi wag mo. Hindi naman kita pinipilit. Wag ka nang magsimula ng away kasi pagod na ako. Just leave my businesses to me."

I walked but he followed again. "Ayaw mong pakialaman kita?"

I stopped and faced him again. "Yes. Why? Don't I have my right? Iyon din naman ang gusto mo para sa sarili mo. You can't be unfair forever."

"So ginagawa mo 'to ngayon?"

I sighed irritatedly. "Look, Josh. I'm sick of these conversations and arguments."

"And you think I am not, too?" mabilis niyang tanong pabalik sa'kin. "God damn it."

Unti-unti na ring nasagad ang pasensya ko kagaya niya. Hindi ko alam kung paano naming nagagawang mag-away nalang gabi-gabi at walang kasawaan. "Then what are you trying to imply, Josh?" I asked him, full of determination. "Nagsasawa ka na? Are you tired, too? You're tired of this fucking arranged marriage. You're tired of seeing nobody but me. You're tired getting stuck in this sickful commitment... I won't doubt, Josh."

"Why?" he then asked.

"Anong bakit? Bakit ko natanong?" I said. "I don't know. Baka kasi ito na yung oras. This time, maybe we could fight for ourselves. Matatanda na tayo... and I know I cannot live forever this way, yeah, with you." Ugh. I hate that my eyes betrayed me for crying. "I guess we should have said no since the first time they asked us. Hindi na sana umabot pa rito... but that time, you know, I honestly believed this'll work. Akala ko magiging madali pa rin sa'tin na mahalin ang isa't isa. We grew up on the same wealthy world; we both have the passion and the heart in music; and we both are unexperience of this shitty love. Akala ko sasapat na 'yon."

He remained silent.

"But, hell. Yeah, our three years of married life is indeed hell. Arguments, fights, issues... palagi nalang. Nakakasawa na... and I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry if I am not a good wife to you. You never saw me perform my wifely tasks, but believe me, I tried. I tried to be a good, loving, and caring wife, but I'm a failure... I am forever a failure. Imbes magpaliwanag at umintindi, nakikidagdag pa ako sa away natin. I'm sorry, okay? And above all, I'm sorry if I'm uncapable of carrying your child. Alam kong isa 'yon sa pinakadahilan mo."

Napansin ko naman 'yon eh. We had a check-up five months ago and we found out that I'm sterile. Since then, lumala na ang mga pagtatalo namin gabi-gabi. Who would not wish for a child? I know he's disappointed. I know he hates me.

"But you can still have your children, Josh... Hindi nga lang sa'kin," I continued. "Let's end this marriage and start our new lives separately. Let's set each other free."

He just slightly shook his head, sighed, and walked away from me.

The night is dark and cold. The clock strikes at nine pm. And I'm feeling cold as the night. I'm feeling lonely and I'm hurting as I reminisce our previous conversation. It's been six days and nights since then, and we haven't talked yet. No arguments either. Siguro pinag-iisipan na rin niya yung sinabi ko.

Annulment... I guess that's the best solution for us. Three years of dealing with pain and sacrifice is enough.

Sayang... Natutunan ko pa naman na rin siyang gustuhin. It's just that I didn't show it to him. Paano? Nahiya na rin ako simula nang malaman kong baog ako. Who am I to own him? Kahit legally married kami, pakiramdam ko wala akong karapatan. I have nothing, not even his love.

I got the printed annulment form. Naasikaso ko na 'to at masisimulan na ang proseso once na pumirma kami pareho. Huminga ako nang malalim. This night, I'm going to ask him to sign this... and we're over and free. Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at dala ito, lumakad ako paakyat ng bahay.

Nasa malayo palang ako, naririnig ko nang may tumutugtog na kung ano. It's coming from the music room. It's surely Josh playing our grand piano.

I stopped and tried to focus listening to him for a while. I know that he's playing piano, too, but I never heard him play... until tonight. He's playing splendidly that I close my eyes to feel the music more. The notes he's playing are quite sad and emotionally. I'm a music lover and I know how to feel and understand the meaning of every note and tune.

I opened my eyes as my heart began beating faster. Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa annulment request na dala ko. I headed towards our music room. Hindi ko na kinailangang buksan ang pintuan kasi medyo nakabukas na 'yon. I was quite surprised to see him playing in the dark. Hindi talaga siya nag-abalang magbukas ng ilaw. Well, marunong naman siyang kumapa ng piano keys at tumugtog. He's a great artist--one thing I liked on him.

As he played the same notes I heard a while ago, I felt the urge to close my eyes and feel the music again. I did. It somehow pounds my heart but it feels undeniably great. The music seems like it is telling me not leave him... It's like it's telling me... he loves me.

At my sudden thought, I opened my eyes. I froze when I saw him looking at me, too, while still playing. May konting liwanag na napupunta sa direksyon niya kaya alam kong nakatingin siya... at sigurado rin akong may mga luhang bumubuhos mula sa mga mata niya.

He played the last notes and said to me sincerely, "Don't leave me... please."

Kanina pa bumubuhos ang mga luha ko kagaya niya. A smiled flash on my face, and then I ran inside the dark room and hugged him. I didn't mind the paper slipped from my hand.

He stood as he hugged me back. "Oh, God, I love you, Reign. Don't leave me please. I'm sorry for always hurting you. I... I just don't know how to explain my side. I don't how to show my love. Isa pa... I don't mind not having a child as long as I'm with you. You're my baby anyway. Please... let's make up with each other. No more issues, fights, and arguments... just love."

I smiled. "I love you, too."

Inside this room, with the grand piano beside us, he kissed me--the most tenderloving kiss he ever gave... and yes, I kissed him back, returning the same great love he has for me.

-finished