The Hunger Games; Peeta

~The Beginning~

After they called my name, there was a gust of silence as no one volunteered for me. I wasn't upset, in out district, and most after 3, volunteering is seen as certain death. My legs and hands were shaking as I walked through the square, to the podium in front of the justice building.

District 12's only living victor, Haymitch Abernathy, was clearly drunk, and as soon as i reached the stage he waved and proceeded to topple off it. But this was no time for jokes, and there wasn't even the titter of a laugh from the crowd.

I stand facing Katniss, and reach out my hand and shake hers. This was the closest i'd ever been to her, but it was never supposed to be like this. I tried to gently squeeze her hand but i was shaking so much it came out as more of a nervous spasm.  When her eyes met mine i felt a jolt of electricity fly through me, but before i could smile or react her eyes had flittered away.

Effie Trinket rushed us behind the closed doors i'd never been behind. I watched her push katniss into one room and me into another. Everything felt like a blur. A hazy, hectic, surreal blur. I don't know how long i sat in that room before my family came in. It can't have been long, yet it felt like forever and no time at all.

When my two brothers, my mother and my father shuffled into the room, I felt my face go hot and tears prick to my eyes. I would never see them again. And they probably knew that

My brothers hug me. There was an ache inside me due to the  fact that I would never see them again.

My mother embraces me, one of the few displays of affection I ever get from her. Then, as if to cheer me, she says "Maybe district 12 will finally have a winner this year."

At first I think she actually believes in me, but then I realize she means Katniss.

"She's a survivor that one, she is."

They then leave, leaving me alone with my father. Then he holds me in his arms, and the tears began to spill. I would never hear his whistling again, never smell his smell of yeast and daisies. He hugged me for a long time, and through my tears i choked a "Look after her sister."

He nodded. Then he embraces me again and tells me he will always love me, no matter what. When the peacekeepers escorted him and then me out of the room, i tried to wipe away my tears, but my eyes still felt red and swollen.

As we board the train that would take us to the capital, I glance at Katniss. We were being bombarded with cameras, which I knew would pick up on my red eyes, but she looked like she hadn't felt anything; Her grey eyes stared at nothing but the inside of the carriage as she climbed up the stairs.

I often wondered about how other people felt with their emotions. Do they shove them down and leave them there to fester? Or do they let it all out in a frenzy of sadness later when they are alone. Sometimes I wish I could hide my feelings as easily as that. Really it's better to let them out, at least in my case.

The train was the grandest thing I had ever seen. There were chandeliers cloaking each one of the light fixtures, probably made out of solid gold. The wallpaper was intricate and not at all worn, like it was brand new. I was shown to the room I would be sleeping in for the two nights on the train, and it was honestly bigger than the majority of our house.

A king size bed lay in the centre, complete with an intricately weaved comforter and the fattest pillows on the planet. On the wall space there was a chest of drawers and a wardrobe, complete with more sets of outfits than I could possibly wear in two days. There was a door leading off to a rather large bathroom, and I locked the door, stripped off my clothes and climbed in the shower.

The water was warm, and there were hundreds of different settings for soaps and bubbles, but I really just sunk to the floor and sat there with my head in my hands. I felt the tears coming.

It is a strange feeling, knowing you are going to die soon. The only way I could come back alive was by killing multiple people, including Katniss, or watching her die, and I knew that's as something i could never do.

I sit there for a while, but eventually I pull myself together, wash, and get out of the shower.  I reached into the finely carved mahogany drawers and pulled out some pale orange, loose fitting pants and a white shirt. The pants were my favourite colour. It reminds me of the sunset.