Emerald

Ch. 10

It’s a terrible thing to come to terms with.

The death of someone your age.

It really makes you think about your own mortality, of how quickly a life can be snuffed out. For a time, you’re terrified that something could happen to you too. 

Unless, of course, the death was due to something like suicide. 

That makes you think about how someone your age could be struggling so deeply, and how no one had seen it fast enough. How you could’ve maybe helped if you had just reached out. 

However, for Virgil it was different. 

Considering he was the one who killed him. 

He watched everyone mourn, and his hands felt stained. There was this horrible feeling in his chest, and it felt like everyone knew what he did. Even though he knew it wasn’t true, he got the sense that they were all staring at him, as if they were waiting for him to confess to his sins. 

But he knew that once he confessed, he’d never get to see Roman again. 

And that, in itself, was a fate worse than death. 

There was sobbing that seemed to fill the entire school. Wherever he went, he could hear it. It was Patton Libum, whose heart had just shattered into a million pieces. The sound seemed to pierce right into Virgil’s soul, shaking him to his very core. 

A blonde girl came into his line of vision.

“Hey, Pryder.” 

“What do you want, Susan?” He sighed, more exhausted than annoyed. 

“I just can’t believe it.” She shook her head, before meeting his eyes. “I can’t believe you did this.” 

Virgil paled, heart stopping in his chest. “What?” He whispered breathlessly.

“I can’t believe he did this.” She repeated, raising a brow at him. “I didn’t think the bastard had it in him.” She huffed, rolling her eyes. “It’s a shame, he was good for the paper. Now what’ll I do?” 

Virgil stared in quickly forming disgust. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He hissed. “Janus Orm is dead and you’re thinking about the fucking school newspaper?”

Susan scoffed. “Oh, please. Don’t give me that look. You’re not much better than me, Pryder. We all know you hated his guts. I bet you’re secretly jumping for joy on the inside, huh?” She smirked. 

Virgil glowered at her, ignoring the sinking feeling in his gut. “You’re sickening.” He growled. 

“Not denying it~!” She smirked, walking away. “Have a good lunch, Pryder.” She called over her shoulder.

He watched her go, pursing his lips. 

Intellectually speaking, he knew the truth. Janus Orm didn’t exist anymore. Virgil had snuffed out his entire stream consciousness, his existence on this planet, with his own two hands. He was the sole person responsible for the end of a life. 

But he couldn’t seem to come to terms with it emotionally. The entire thing felt separated from himself, like an entirely different person had done it and Virgil had just watched from the sidelines. In a way, that was true. 

He glanced to his left, looking at Janus’ locker.

Everyone had written messages for Janus on sticky notes, and stuck them to his locker. There was a picture of him in the center. 

He was smiling in the photo. Virgil didn’t think he’d seen that expression on his face before.

Still, it was almost as if his eyes were piercing into him.