Rules of Friendship | 18+

𝘕𝘪𝘯𝘦 ♡

𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺

➵➵➵➵➵➵➵♡➵➵➵➵➵➵➵

"Becca's back in town."

I was lounging on Steve's lap in one of the chairs surrounding a coffee table at the Tavern, Bucky and Sam occupied the orange couch across from us. One of Steve's arms was banded tightly around my waist, holding me up while the other held a beer bottle. His strength seemed unmatched, even in a sitting position, I felt like I weighed like nothing. Our dinner was spread around the coffee table, a collection of appetizers that had been picked apart until none of us liked what was left. It felt normal like our earlier years with Sam now included. "She's wanting to see you Serenity."

"I love Becca," I smiled lazily, looking up at Steve when he kissed my forehead, "When does she want to meet up?"

"She wants to go to Tempest, that new bar in the borough," Bucky thanked our waiter when he brought another beer out, "I'm waiting for her call but she's trying to get us a place tonight if you guys are down for it?"

I looked up at Steve, remembering his promise, and maybe I was fucking scared, even though I'm the one who pushed for it, but he smiled at me, taking a long pull of his beer. "Up to you Serenity," He smiled behind the bottle, but his eyes never left mine, "I go where you go."

"I want to go," Yeah I'm a coward because my thought line was I can go to Tempest, guide Steve to hook up with someone, I've been satiated, and then I don't have the looming guilt of ruining our friendship over me. "Count us in."

When Bucky, Sam, and Steve dove into a conversation about some sport, I think it was baseball, that made the most sense, I let myself drift into my thoughts. I had spent my entire young adult life looking at Steve, begging for him to look at me, and now that he is, I'm petrified, because the reality was if this came crashing down, if I showed him how I felt, knowing damn well he didn't feel those emotions for me, I would break, and he wouldn't be there to pick up the pieces like he always has.

With every heartbreak, Steve was there to make everything better. He was there to hold me as I sobbed when Peter dumped me for Sharon, he laid in bed with me for a week, spoon-fed me when I refused to get up to eat, made sure I was getting water, and when he decided that enough was enough, he started a shower, got in with me fully clothed and sat on the floor while I cried, holding my best friend as tightly as I could. Steve was there when my parents divorced, he walked in with me when I had my first family dinner with my mother's new boyfriend, and he held me that night when I cried about my world shifting once again.

Setting everything on the line like that, just because I was desperate for his attention terrified me.

Even now, as I sat in Steve's lap, I knew he was home. Steve, Sam, and Bucky had been my stability for so long, and if I lost Steve, then I lost Bucky because I wouldn't put Bucky in between us. But I knew being Steve's fuck buddy would hurt me, it would crush me, and while I suggested it, I knew I was going to regret it. But I didn't want to put a stop to it. "You're wiggling baby," Steve's eyes were still trained on Bucky as he listened to Sam and him argue, "I'm going to need you to stop, otherwise we're going to have a problem we're gonna have to take care of in the bathroom."

I melted, wiggling my hips again and watching his knuckles grip the bottle, "You're being a tease Serenity," Leaning against his collarbone, I blinked innocent eyes up at him, seeing his smile grow, "Stop playing baby, we have a long night before I can get you in those sheets."

And even with all those fears swirling in my head, I relaxed, "You're not going to leave me right?"

"No baby," Steve pressed his mouth to my temple, "I'm not going to leave you."