3| Probation

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Probation

"Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else's war against themselves"
- Lauren Eden

"Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else's war against themselves"- Lauren Eden

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• Rogue •

I'd stumbled from bar to bar
I wasn't even sure where I was now
I couldn't remember how many drinks I've had
But I felt so... numb. So nice
It felt nice not to feel every thing so deeply and painfully

I couldn't feel my face
Or the bruises blossoming on my ribs
The lights began to turn off around me as I tried to stay steady on my stool

"Come on sweetheart, it's time to go home" the bar tender said, guiding me off the stool
"Who the fuck are you calling sweetheart?" I asked, shoving him away
He sighed

"Look it's closing time, you need to leave, alright?" He said
Leave? Fine.
Fine I'll leave
I can find a drink somewhere else, I can find fun somewhere else

I stumbled out into the street, looking around
I needed something to do to stop me from going home
To an empty house. Alone
I hunched over as sick rose in my throat, throwing up in an alley way

Before noises took my attention
That fucking bartender, walking to his car
"You" I shouted, nearing him
He looked at me, groaning as he tried quicker to get j to his car

"You, fucking sweetheart!" I shouted, throwing my bottle of vodka at his windscreen, smashing it
He immediately swung his door back open
"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked
I didn't listen
I climbed up onto the hood, kicking the wind screen in with every fibre of anger I had

Fuck him
Fuck his car
Fuck everyone
"That's my car you crazy bitch!" He shouted
"Crazy?" I asked
"Fucking crazy am I!" I shouted, slamming my foot down onto his wing mirror

It smashed off, flying across the road
I must have blacked out in anger once again

Because I don't remember much about that night

Except watching the car go up in flames after I set it alight
I stood back, as the man screamed at me and sirens began to sound distantly in my ears
I just watched it fucking burn
Like my life I suppose

I don't know how long I stood there, before the rain started, my hair sticking to my face before I was shoved against a police car
Handcuffs clamped tightly on my wrists

I woke up to the smell of sweat and mould
Pushing myself off an extremely uncomfortable mattress, wincing at all the pain surging through my body

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