Twice in a Lifetime (Criminal Minds)

Recovery

A police officer was busy interviewing Morgan about what he saw when he had first entered the room, while Hotch talked to the police chief about certain case details that they needed for the reports. 

Blake and Rossi were back at the police station packing up the case files and the evidence they had gathered. 

Reid had been quiet since speaking with Morgan and was now being comforted by Garcia and J.J. The doctors had switched his room, while C.S.I. was examining the room, and the coroner was taking the body of Reid's former friend away. 

When Garcia had arrived on scene she went straight to Reid, nearly knocking over a police officer in the mean time. She had been trying to get him to talk ever since but he wouldn't utter a word. And she was starting to worry. She had never seen him like this. He looked dazed and almost confused. Like he was unsure whether or not what happened, happened.

Garica vouched to herself that she would not rest until her genius said something to her. She would sit in the chair beside his bed, holding his hand, until she died if she had to.

"Reid?I know your in there sweety. Please say something, anything." She tried desperately to get some form of response out of Reid but none came. He didn't speak. He didn't moved. The only signs of life were the consistent rise and fall of his chest and the occansional blink.

"Spence, we know your in there. Please talk to us. Please." J.J. had never felt so despondent. She felt like crying, but knew that doing that wouldn't help Reid.

Reid felt an array of emotions. Despair at the death of a friend. Anger at himself for causing his death. Happiness, because he knew it was finally over. But he was having trouble deciding which emotion was the most dominant. His heart was having a battle with itself. He could hear J.J. and Garcia talking to him, but they're voices were only a mumble compared to the hum that filled his mind. He felt so confused about his emotions. He had never been this confused before and he hated it. He tried to put his emotions in the back of his mind so he could focus on what he needed to, but they kept jumping to the forefront of his thoughts and distracted him.

He just wanted to scream. He tried once again to put the thoughts away, to ease the hum and momentarily the voices were the loudest thing he could hear.

"Reid, honey? Can you hear me?" Reid turned his head to look at Garica and J.J. and for a moment his thoughts melted away.

"Yes," he whispered.

"How are you doing sweety?"

"Okay, I guess. I'm a little confused though." His brow furrowed and he began to play with the sheet that was covering him. 

"About what?" J.J. asked.

"How I should feel. I don't know if I should be happy, angry, sad."

"Oh Reid don't worry about that. Everything is going to be okay." 

"I sure hope your right." And no more was said. The three sat in silence until Morgan came into the room.

"Do you mind if I talk to Reid?" He asked.

The girls said nothing, but stood up and quietly left the room.

"Kid whats going on inside that big brain of yours?" Morgan moved to stand next to Reid.

"To much," Reid whispered, not looking up from his lap.

"Come on Reid this was not your fault. You did what you had to, to survive."

"Doesn't change how I feel."

"Reid don't kick yourself. There is nothing you could have done."

"Don't try to tell me that you wouldn't blame yourself if you were in my place. "

"Your right Reid I would blame myself, but I would at least understand that I did what I had to do."

Reid had no response to this, and fell silent.

"Don't shut us out kid, we can help you." 

Reid's mind trailed to before Ethan showed up and how calm he felt. He decided then and there that, that was how he wanted to feel. 

"And i'm going to let you. I'm not going to close you out like last time."

Morgan smiled and gently placed a hand on Reid shoulder.

"You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that. Now, how about we get some jello?" He asked sitting down in the chair beside the bed, that Garcia once occupied.

"I'll take a lime," Reid said smiling his first true smile in a while.

Garcia and J.J. came back to the room after about ten minutes to see a smiling Reid, using his spoon to catapult chunks of jello at Morgan. 

"Looks like you boys are having fun. But you're not suppose to play with your food," Garcia said, with mock anger laced in her voice.

"He started it," Reid accused pointing a Morgan.

"I don't care who started it I just want to know if I can join." Garcia laugh and grab Morgan spoon from him and flung a piece of jello at Reid.

J.J. leaned down beside Morgan and whispered. "What did you say to him?" 

"I just told him that we'd be here for him, he was silent for a couple of seconds then suddenly he just changed. He said that he wanted our help and that he wasn't going to close us out like last time." 

"Uh that's so good to hear." J.J. stood up straight and watched her best friend smile.

Actually smile.

And she smiled with him.

I'm terrible at writing sappy conversations. Anyway hope you enjoyed!