Illusions

Chapter 3 - Missing

Author's Note: Slowly, the ripple effects grow. ;)

~ Amina Gila

Obi-Wan managed to push most of his questions from mind during the mission, but now that it's over, they're flooding back again. Especially since he saw Anakin using the Force to a strength he's never seen before, except on Mortis. (He'll never forget seeing Anakin Fallen, knowing that he'd joined the Son for reasons he couldn't fathom, and he never got an answer to that. Doesn't really want one. It could have been... something similar to what the Son did to Ahsoka. He doesn't know, but that makes the most sense.) Presumably that has... something to do with the machine.

He pulls Anakin aside to talk to him once they finally have a private moment, which isn't until Tarkin starts to head off.

And he could've sworn he saw Fives crossing his eyes behind Tarkin's back when he was going on and on about his complaints about the military. Obi-Wan almost thought he imagined it, except Ahsoka and Anakin had nearly cracked up.

"I... sensed how you were using the Force," Obi-Wan comments, "I've never seen you using it that deeply before." The sheer power Anakin wields is almost unsettling when he thinks about it. He was able to tame two literal beings of the Force, and Obi-Wan himself couldn't even break free from one.

"Mortis... made me realize I can do far more than I thought possible," Anakin replies, "And now, after everything we've seen, I think that's what I need to do."

He's not really wrong about that, though Obi-Wan doesn't know what to say about how Anakin seems to have even more questions than he does. "Don't push yourself too far," Obi-Wan advises finally, "You've experienced drawing too deeply on the Force before." It happened when Anakin was far younger, before he really knew what limitations his body would be able to handle. Anakin was... easily overwhelmed by the Force, sometimes just with passive use. He's so strong; he feels so much.

"I won't, Master," Anakin answers, hesitating a moment, "But I... can do far more than I have been taught to. I've seen that."

"The Jedi teach about limitations for a reason," Obi-Wan points out.

"I... do not know what to believe any longer," Anakin admits, "With what we saw of the Jedi in the past..."

Something uncomfortable twists inside of him, hearing it voiced out loud. He doesn't want to start questioning everything he's believed in; it feels wrong, but he can't entirely stop it. He can't brush off Anakin's concerns when he shares them, too. "You're not wrong," he concedes, finally, "I don't know what to make of what we saw either, but in the end, we know what we're fighting for now. We're doing the best we can, regardless of what the Order did in the past."

"But there are still people who would do the same," Anakin reminds, "This is the same Republic that stood back then. What if – what if we are capable of doing the same thing now? Ahsoka was... she might've been out of line, maybe, people like Tarkin are the ones that could easily cause the destruction we heard about."

"That's... true," Obi-Wan admits, though he doesn't much want to think about it, "But we would see it if someone was going that far." At least he hopes so.

Anakin still seems uncertain, but they leave it at that.

Everything they've done all their lives has been for something. He can't believe anything else. (He thinks Anakin wants to believe the same thing, too, but that doesn't mean it's that... simple.)

***

As soon as Anakin finds a few spare moments when they're on Coruscant, he slips away to see Padme. It feels like it's been so long since he last got to see her in person, but then again, it always feels like that. For all the time they've been married, it still feels like they hardly know each other.