Chapter 5

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Only the Beginning

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Vegas POV.

I woke up startled out of my sleep, my chest heavy and tight, I could feel myself begin to breathe fast and short. I don't know what to call this, but it's not the first time I have had this kind of breathless feeling. I brought my hands to my face, suddenly feeling tears escape my eyes. 

I closed my eyes in an attempt to calm myself down, I felt around the bed for Pete, but he wasn't there. I started to hyperventilate even more, gripping my chest feeling pain around my healing gunshot wound. Not aware of what's going on, I tried to get out of bed searching for some sort of medication I could take to numb whatever it was that I was feeling.

As I pulled myself off the bed, I lost my balance stumbling to the floor. I felt arms wrap around me and Pete's voice in my ear.

"Hey, hey, Vegas, calm down, what's wrong love?" Pete cupped my face between both of his hands, wiping the tears off my cheeks. I wrapped my arms around him engulfing his body into a hug and bringing him as close to me as possible. My breathing still shallow and tears streaming down my face. 

I've never been this vulnerable in front of anyone but somehow Pete has this way of tearing me out of my past. "I. Can't. Breathe." I whisper grabbing on tightly to Pete's shirt.

Pete held me back, tightly hugging me as if his life depended on it. "Hey, baby, I am right here, everything is okay. Just take deep breaths with me, follow my breathing." 

Slowly, while staring into his eyes, I was able to regain my breath. My heart continued beating quickly but I no longer felt the tightness in my chest or the pain around my wounds. "I-I thought you left, I thought you were gone, and when I didn't feel you beside me, I don't know what happened. I-I couldn't breathe." 

Pete's eyes were soft, his hands still caressing my face and my shoulders. He looked down at me, touching gently at my bandages, tracing my scars with his fingers. "That would be called a panic attack my love." He leaned in and kissed my swollen eyes.

"I'm sorry I wasn't beside you when you woke up, I wanted to bring you some breakfast in bed." Pete spoke between his pecks all over my face. I felt bad that I freaked out like that, panicking first thing in the morning just because my boyfriend wasn't beside me. Of course, here he was apologizing for something that he didn't need to be saying sorry for.

"I should be the one apologizing, not you." I said pulling away from him a little bit to get a good look at his face. He slowly got up from the floor pulling me up with him and helping me to sit on the bed. I looked down ashamed of consistently making him feel bad for things that had nothing to do with him, things that my past is haunting me with.

Pete got on top of me straddling his legs on either side of my hips, "Vegas, I am not going anywhere, we have been through far too much together, I can't imagine not being by your side for the rest of my life," he said while wrapping his arm around my torso.

 I snuggled my head into the crevice of his neck breathing him in immediately feeling myself relax. "I don't want to imagine you not being here, but I also have too many issues. I don't want to hold you back, so if at any point I become too much, I want you to leave me." I said softly into his neck.

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Pete POV.

"I don't want to imagine you not being here, but I also have too many issues. I don't want to hold you back, so if at any point I become too much, I want you to leave me."

I pulled away from Vegas loosening my hold on his body and looking him dead in the eye. I struggle knowing what to say next. Obviously, Vegas has been through so much loss, sure his dad died, but that's not the loss that is affecting him. 

What's affecting him is the lack of attention he has had growing up, the lack of love, and lack of affection from people who were supposed to care for him. 

I want to be the one to give him all of that, all the things he has been missing, I don't want to just tell him I am here, I desperately want to show him. He says I can leave him so casually, as if it would be an easy choice for me to make. 

"We both have issues. Maybe you have more than me, but it doesn't mean you're the only one. You said you want to show me that you can love me, well, have you ever thought that I want to do that for you?" I say with a smile on my face. 

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a whole lot of love last night, I wouldn't mind you doing something like that again. It would be nice for you to allow me to please you as well." I spoke while Vegas started smiling back at me. I felt something hard poking at my ass, I shift my butt side to side and see the eyes of my lover begin to sparkle. I can sense him getting harder and harder. 

"Your brother won't be back for a few days, so I am expecting you to make me very sore in the absolute best way." I whisper, "what do I have to do to get you to fuck me?"

Vegas flips me over his side onto the bed ripping both his and my clothes off in record time, "nothing, my good boy, this is only the beginning."

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