I left the hallway knowing no one but their faces,
so blurry
I hope I could see them again
with a thought of I hope I might not
My steps in the library is traumatizing,
thinking I might grab the wrong book
I might read the wrong pages
Meet the wrong people?
Carry anonymous crumpled paper?
I should not think of it that way
if I aim to lone myself in the walkway.
Think of a better place to stay?
Where? I might bump into the unknown.
Perhaps, I might call those anonymous
people again once met once more.
I might walk with them without the face of turmoil.
I might, right?
But then again, I don't want to stay walking
with them in that state.
For I ain't longer sleeping,
now awaken, and I knew them fully.
I thought I didn't.
They're no longer anonymous,
they're the people I tend to blur the faces.
Why? Oh why did I do that?
For peace? In what explanation
that can be validated by my heart?
They can't be with me, smile at me,
pretending they know my whole
I can't walk with them for they wounded
me fully, couldn't contain the pain.
I aim to not recognize their hearts,
hear their minds, and accept their hands
It's myself begging not to,
for it's already too much for me to handle.
They are too much, for me to receive
another chaos I once tried to avoid.
I want it this way; to blur their smiles again
and walk with lone again.
Experiences made me realize
that I ain't into being a living
with peace and freedom.
But the thing is...
I miss their smiles even those are lethal
I miss how they extended their arms
to help me stand even they let me fall
...and I stood up myself
I miss how I used to be one of the anonymous, walking with them
I miss how they told me I'm part of them
But the rolls of their eyes is transparent
in every word they say.
I miss them, but I miss it more
the way how I used to love myself.
Even without them?
Yes. Even without knowing them.
I miss walking with the self I used to hide
for them to walk with me.
YOU ARE READING
The Thing Is...
PoetryPLEASE, DON'T READ ME IF YOU'RE NOT INTO DRAMATIC PHRASES. Trust me, this one's not your cup of tea. It's a collection of free verse poetry, which is different from the more traditional poetry I usually write, for this book serves as my personal dia...
