Ice, steel and shadows - ACOTAR au

Lilith

Days passed- I didn't know how many. All I knew was pain. Pain that shot through my entire body, pain like nothing I'd ever felt before, pain that kept me from eating, sleeping, breathing. But I knew it was a good thing- the pain. Because if it stopped, if I was dizzy and sleepy, it would mean I was dying.

More days went by- I couldn't pretend like it wasn't happening anymore. Death was taunting me, weighting down my lids, seizing hold of me. I was leaning against the wall, because I couldn't support my weight- I'd lost all the weight I had gained while living at Tamlin's estate: I was merely bones and frail skin, and I'd die soon, and all I could think about was Feyre. Feyre needed to get out, and I'd outwit death if it meant saving her.

My eyes blurred- I willed myself not to cry. Crying would get me nowhere: I begged for Lucien or Amelia to show, but they didn't. They never did and if they didn't, I would die- I would-

Darkness moved. Out of nowhere, the shadows begun trembling as if something superior to them had appeared, and they wanted to make space for it. For him. I didn't have to see him to know his powerful, alluring presence. I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't want to see his reaction to what I had become.

"This place smells rotten- I'll tell Amarantha to give the cleaners a raise, poor sods need it." Rhysand giggled, as if the whole thing was a mere joke to him. I wanted to vomit. "You must be burning up." Rhysand murmured, more thoughtfully now, and I felt him approaching. "Get away." I rasped, trying to sound commanding. It was more of a plead. "Now, now, careful about what you ask for." Was all he said, as he placed a cool hand on my forehead. I almost cried out in relief, his hand was cold and easing against my burning skin. "Burning up, indeed. And your arm- let me see it." "No." I immediately replied, even though all I wanted was for him to touch me everywhere, his coolness to wrap me up and put me to sleep.

I was so, so tired. Rhysand let out a small sigh, before gently pulling my hand and grazing his fingers against it. Even the slightest contact made me want to scream in pain. "Bad. So very bad." Rhysand whispered, and his voice made my entire body tremble. "You think?" I gritted my teeth, and forced myself to look him in the eye. His eyes glowed in the dark, and so did his skin, pale and simmery. Otherworldly.

"Hello darling." Rhysand purred, and I fought the urge to vomit right on his face. "I'll vomit on your face." I did threaten him for good measure though. He laughed, his teeth gleaming in the dark- all predator, not an ounce of him prey. "What's your name?" Rhysand asked, and his fingers applied a little pressure on my wound. My head reeled like crazy as I cried out.

"What's your name love?" "Feyre." I said, and immediately his fingers tightened, and I screamed. "Too much noise, and you'll attract unwanted visitors. Too much pain, and you'll die. The choice is yours." The ache in my arm was unbearable, I couldn't see, spots were in my vision, my entire body was protesting- and yet, I'd rather die than betray my sister. "Feyre." I repeated, and Rhysand seethed.

He let go of my arm entirely and it dropped to my side. I couldn't lift it- I wasn't powerful enough to do anything, to move any part of my body really. "Don't be stupid- I already suspect that you're lying. One word to Amarantha and you and your sister will both be dead. Tell me the truth and I promise you I will protect you as I can." Despite myself, I rasped out a weak laugh. "Why would you ever protect me? All human faces look the same to you and all that? Remember?" "I did. Remember." Rhysand replied, and my vision was blinded by violet eyes.

He leaned in, and I couldn't pull away as his lips brushed against my ear. "You know of my bargain with Amelia. And you may think I'm the bad guy, but I have protected her, haven't I?" "Because" I had to take a deep breath to continue "it served you. Your interests." Rhysand shook his head- or perhaps he didn't, because everything was moving. "Protecting you didn't serve me. And yet I did it." "Liar." I rasped, and yet I wasn't so sure- I wasn't sure of anything anymore.