A Stand-in Bride

Chapter 29

Yibo

I clench my jaw as I listen to the sound of my wife’s sobs through the bathroom door. She’s trying her hardest to be quiet and it kills me. I have no doubt I’m one of the sources of her pain and I don’t know how to make it better.

The shower turns off and I take a step away, making my way to our bed instead. I get in and grab my phone, unsure how to act. For a moment, I consider texting Dilraba and asking her to come over but then I think better of it. If it’s Reba she needed, she would’ve just gone there herself, wouldn’t she?

Zhan walks out wearing an oversized t-shirt instead of one of the sexy nightgowns I’ve gotten used to, yet she somehow looks even more irresistible than usual. She pauses when she sees me sitting up in bed and averts her gaze instantly, no doubt hoping I won’t notice how red her beautiful eyes are.

I force myself to look away and pretend to be engrossed in my phone instead. I don’t know how to face her. I want to be there for her but I don’t want to push or intrude if that’s not what she needs.

Xiao Zhan is quiet as she gets into bed with me. I expected her to say something, anything at all, but she just turns her back to me and curls up in a ball, her breathing still uneven.

I watch her for a moment, taking in the way her small hands are wrapped around the covers, the sound of her shallow breathing. She sounds as though she could burst into tears at any moment, all over again, but she’s trying her hardest not to. Tonight, more than ever, I wish I could be the person she’d rely on. I’d give the world to be the person she turns to when her heart aches, when it’s comfort she seeks.

I take a deep breath before pulling up the app that controls everything in the house. I’m unsure if I should dim the lights or turn them off altogether. What is it that she wants? Considering the way she just hid in the shower, I suspect it’s darkness she wants.

The lights turn off and I lie down next to her at a loss. It’s only been a few days since we got married, yet I’ve seen so many facets of her that I never realized existed. She’s always acted so sweet and carefree around me, but I’m now seeing both strength and weakness that I didn’t realize she carries. It only makes her more beautiful. She’s unlike any other woman I know. Those small shoulders of hers carry dozens of burdens, few of them her own.

I turn toward her and mimic her position, keeping a bit of distance between us. “Zhan,” I whisper. She tenses but doesn’t reply. Instead, she tightens her grip on our covers. Fucking hell. It kills me to know she’s hurting and that I can’t make it right. The things she just told her mother… fuck. I had no idea I’d made her feel so unwanted. I may not be able to fix her relationship with her mother but I don’t want her to feel insecure in our marriage. The fact that she does means that I failed her as her husband.

I reach for her hesitantly and place my hand on her arm. She sniffs and for a moment I think she’ll pull away from me but then she turns around to face me. “Yibo,” she says, her voice breaking as fresh tears fill her eyes. “I… Can I have a hug?”

Fuck. The pain in her voice fucking guts me. My heart wrenches as I pull her into my arms with more force than I intended, one hand wrapping underneath her, while the other curls around her. I hug her tightly, her body flush against mine.

Zhan nestles her nose against my neck and inhales shakily as her arm wraps around me. Her touch is cautious, hesitant, as though she’s scared she’s asking for too much. She’s my wife, yet she hesitates to ask for a hug. Just how uncomfortable have I made her?

“You never even need to ask,” I whisper as my hand threads through her hair, my grip tight. She holds onto me so tightly that I find myself holding her a little tighter too. She fits against me so perfectly, it’s unreal. Her breathing is uneven, as though she’s still holding back tears and I let my fingers trail over her back, slowly, soothingly.