The Conjuring series Oneshots and Headcanons

Incorrect Quotes (Semi-Cannon)

(Y/n): Ed and Lorraine said we were having burgers.

Drew: If Ed and Lorraine jumped off a cliff, would you.

(Y/n): ○-○

Drew: (Y/n)!

(Y/n): Well I uh- I mean it depends!

Drew: Don't. Jump. Off. A. Cliff!!

(Y/n): Well I wasn't planning on it...

Drew: But if Ed and Lorraine jumped, you would?!

(Y/n): ○-○

Drew: (Y/n)!!

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(Y/n): I did a bad thing.

Drew: Does it affect me?

(Y/n): Well, no, but-

Drew: Then suffer in silence.

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The Author: Hey there demons, It's me, ya boi. I'm standing near your hole and It's very dark. And, uh, frankly I don't believe in you so I feel like I'm writing a letter to Santa Clause right now. But, uh,  I'm just here letting ya know, I'm gonna write about people kicking your asses.

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Lorraine: Rise and shine!

(Y/n): I'll rise, but I refuse to shine.

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Isla: Do you want to play twenty questions?

(Y/n): Uh, sure...

(Y/n): What's your favourite color-?

Isla, looking at (Y/n) dead in the eye: Triangle. Do you love me?

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Lorraine: You fainted, do you remember anything?

(Y/n): Only the ambulance ride...

Ed: That wasn't an ambulance ride, I drove you.

(Y/n): But I heard a siren?

Ed: That was Judy.

Judy: Sorry, I got nervous.

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Kidnapper: We have your daughter.

Ed: But my daughter is right here?

Kidnapper: Then who is this? She won't stop threatening us and - Oh God! HOW THE HELL DID SHE GET OUT?! THOSE BARS WERE PURE METAL AND HAD ONE OF THE STRONGEST LOCKS?! OH GOD AA-!!!

Ed: Oh (Y/n)'s there? Yeah, you don't have her, she has you, goodbye.

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(Y/n): I'm... I'm at a loss for words.

Isla, narrating: Despite being at a loss for words, she proceeded to yell at me for the next 40 minutes...

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Lorraine: A good romance starts with a good friendship!

(Y/n): And a bad romance starts with a ra ra ah ah ah ro ma ro ma ma ga ga oh la la caught in a bad romance~ :D

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(Y/n): I've been hearing spirits for the last 4 days and couldn't get any sleep and I do believe I'm close to a damn mental breakdown.

(Y/n), bites into a cursed object: This ain't my fucking sandwich.

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WARNING A FEW VERY MINI LORE DUMP OF (M/N)!!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!