look after you × winterwidow & oc

VI. i do

may 2017

Natasha's hand felt around the bedsheets, expecting to come across a warm body next to hers. She frowned, still not completely awake, reaching further when her fingers didn't touch anything. Their bed wasn't that big, how could he roll so far away from her? Confused, she forced herself to lift her eyelids, still heavy with slumber. The surrounding darkness suggested it was still the middle of the night. The other side of the bed was empty.

Propping herself up on one elbow, Natasha looked around the room as her eyes got used to the darkness and slowly she was noticing more and more details. It was about time to buy a proper bedside lamp. She touched the empty side once again. It was cold. So it wasn't James leaving the room that woke her up. His pillow was gone.

Throwing the thin duvet aside, Natasha lowered her legs to the floor and stood up. The previously bunched fabric of the tank top she was sleeping in, slid down, covering her stomach. Barefoot, she made her way to the door and pulled the handle down, opening it. The short hallway leading to the living room and kitchen was dark. The door to Katya's room on the opposite wall was closed, with no light coming from underneath it.

Stepping almost soundlessly, Natasha crossed the corridor and entered the main living space. And there he was, on the floor, near the couch and the coffee table, lying on his back. He looked asleep, even in the darkness she could notice his naked chest moving steadily. The grey blanket he was covered by, was bunched up, barely covering his hips and part of his left leg.

Natasha weighed her options. She could go back to the comfy, but empty bed. She could wake him up and drag him back to the bed with her. Or she could join him on the floor.

He had been awake for a bit over two months now. Even though Natasha knew that now nothing and no one could come between them, nothing would ever again separate them. These small things like sleeping next to each other, especially waking up together, still were sacred to her. Remain of the stolen moments from the time in the Red Room, perhaps. Back then, while falling asleep she knew he wouldn't be there when she woke up. Precaution, sneaking out under the cover of the night was easier.

Forcing James back to bed didn't feel quite right. It wasn't supposed to be like that. Natasha wasn't there to force him, to push him in any way. She wasn't even the one to guide him. This labyrinth he had to navigate on his own and find his way back through decades of memories as things kept coming back to him, sometimes at an overwhelming pace, but slowly he was piecing everything back together. The only thing she could do for him was to accompany him through it and support him, for better and worse. Hold his hand, metaphorically and literally.

With that in mind, Natasha went back to the bedroom and reemerged with the pillow under her arm and the duvet thrown over her shoulder. The blanket wasn't big enough to cover both of them. Trying to be as quiet as possible, to avoid waking James up, she approached him and set the pillow down next to his. In the quiet of the night, the comforter hitting the floor was surprisingly loud. His eyelids fluttered at the same moment she kneeled down and adjusted the pillow.

"Nat?" he muttered. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, go back to sleep," she answered casually.

"You don't have to sleep on the floor," James mumbled.

"Don't tell me what to do." Natasha scooted closer to him, resting her head in the crook of his neck. James sighed but his arm immediately found its way around her waist, pulling her closer.

"You're impossible," he muttered. She didn't see his face, but she was sure there was a smile on it.

"You love me for that." Natasha's voice was muffled, partially by him and partially by sleep that was already taking control over her.