𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒, 𝐉.𝐇.𝐊

ix.

The job at the newspaper has kept me busy, trying to multitask with finalizing my book (which is nearing the end of the publishing process), and writing little articles for the paper every week, I've not had much time to do anything. The amount of emails I get from Jameson each week about new stories and deadlines is enough to make any person want to retire. Jameson had also given me an opportunity to write stories for an online paper in central London, so I had been juggling that as well. 

My eyes darted between my computer and the notepad in my hand, jotting down notes from Jameson's most recent email. I had missed Jonah dearly these past few days, but he had to go out of town to visit family. He called me every night to say goodnight and tell me that he loved me. But he was coming back today. I was so ecstatic to see him. I felt like I had been watching the door all day, waiting for my lover to return. 

An email notification from my publisher appeared at the top right corner of my screen. I clicked onto it with haste. I had been getting more and more emails from my publisher about my book and how it was almost ready to be published online and in stores. She said that it would be ready in a few days. I had my friend design the cover art for me and it turned out really amazing. 

I opened the email:

Dear y/n, 

Your book is ready to publish. Everything was set into order faster than we had predicted, and the book is eligible to be sold in stores and online. We can officially begin publishing tomorrow if you approve it. Please respond ASAP to give us the green light. 

Amy.

I audibly squealed in excitement loud enough for the whole town to hear. I was going to have my book published! Officially. I began to respond to the email when the front door creaked open.

"What's all the screaming?" I heard. I looked up and rushed to give Jonah a hug as fast as I could. He pushed his rolling luggage away with one had so he had the ability to hug me with both of his hands. 

"My book is going to be officially published!" I released myself from the hug and jumped up and down like a little girl. 

"That's incredible! That's really phenomenal. It's going to be a bestseller I'm sure of it." He pulled me in by my arm and gave me a kiss. I played with his hair slightly as he gave me another hug. 

"How was your visit?"  I asked. He grabbed his suitcase and held it closer to him.

"My visit! Oh. It was fine." He slightly stuttered over his words. "Good to see them again." I nodded in approval before sitting back in my sit and focusing on writing my email again. "So, y/n, I was thinking that maybe we go visit Nana's bakery, or the bookstore perhaps?" I sighed. The thought of a coffee and bookshop date with Jonah seemed perfect in my mind. But in reality, I had so much to do today. Articles to write, for the local paper and the London paper.

"That would be so much fun, but I have a lot of work to do and a lot of writing to get done." His smile faded almost as fast as it had formed. 

"Oh, come on! You never pass up a Nana's date." He looked at me, trying to convince me with his eyes and his charm. Usually it worked, but I had deadlines to achieve. 

"Sorry. But if you bring me a croissant  back, I'll have some coffee talk with you right here." I suggested. He began to take off his layers and hang his coat on the hat stand. 

"No, that takes all the fun out of it." He thought for a moment. "It's fine though, I need to unpack anyway. I'll just be upstairs if you need me." He said in a melancholic tone. He walked over to me and placed a kiss on my forehead, and took his suitcase upstairs. I put my face in my hands and tried to get back into my work. I could tell that he was hurt by my denial. We did everything together, and these past two months, we have been inseparable. So my behavior was definitely different, even I noticed. I'm not sure if it's the stress of working, or the stress of my book, but something was up. 

I heard him the faint sound of him unzipping his suitcase and decided it may be best to go talk to him and help him unpack. If we couldn't go out into town, I at least could go talk to him. I clam-shelled my laptop and paced up the stairs. I walked into our room and found him on the floor next to the dresser, unpacking. 

"Hey. I wanted to help you unpack." I explained as I kneeled down next to him. 

"Oh! There's not much to unpack anyway, but I would love your help." He replied. 

"So, tell me about the trip." I heard a deep sigh from him, making me focus my attention from him. 

"About that. I can't lie to you." I immediately went on high alert. 

"What do you mean?" I whined. We didn't have any secrets between us, at least I didn't think we did. 

"I didn't actually go see my family." I sat there for a moment, thinking about where he could have possibly been. My mind raced to the worst outcomes. 

"So then where the hell were you for four days?" I scolded. I placed the shirt in my hands back into the suitcase and stood up. He soon met me on my level, if a little taller than me. 

"This is going to sound stupid," My heart raced at the worst outcomes of what he was going to say. "But I was out, auditioning, in central London." 

"Auditioning? For what?"  He had never ever told me that he was an actor, much less that he was actively auditioning. 

"Y'know, films and such." He ran his hands through his hair. Acting very awkward. 

"Films? You never even told me you were an actor!" I stepped closer to him, waiting for his excuse. 

"Well you never asked." It did hit me in that moment that I had been really absorbed with telling him about my writing, that I hadn't asked him, but that wasn't an excuse. 

"But why would you lie about auditioning! What's so secretive about these auditions?" He better have a real good excuse.  

"I didn't want to get either of our hopes up. The truth is, I've gotten really far in these auditions and I'm getting really close to the final callbacks." Callbacks? 

"You've gotten far? How long have these auditions been going on?" He's never gone out on trips like this In the time that I've known him. 

"A long time.  But most of the time I drive to the audition and come straight back. The original audition was only a few days before you got here." That would mean he has been in this business of auditioning for over two months, without telling me. My heart sunk a little. 

"So you've been going to these auditions for two months? When?" 

"When I go to work." 

"I thought work was here. At the bookshop. I come visit you all the time." 

"Well some days I go audition instead." 

"So you lied." My heart dropped when the words came out of my mouth. He was the love of my life, and he lied, or at least covered it up,  consistently, for two months. 

"I'm so sorry, y/n. I feel absolutely horrible, but I didn't want to tell you unless it resulted in something. But I couldn't keep lying to you. You're my everything and I don't want to crumble our foundation because I rely on you. I hate the fact that I lied to you, I hate the fact that Ive hidden this from you for so long, and I hate the fact that it took me this long to tell you because I love you so much. I'm so, so sorry." His apology got my hopes up. He seemed very genuine about it, and I could tell when he was being genuine. He looked at me with guilt on his face. 

"Oh, Jonah, um, It's ok I guess. Just please tell me next time that something like this happens." I felt uneasy, but I decided to forgive him. I loved him too much to get really mad at him, so I'll just call it disappointed. I walked over to him to give him a hug, and he embraced me. He held on to me, as if he was so relieved that he still had me. How could I be mad at the man who needed me so bad that he would think up an apology like that. 

It still baffled me that he hadn't told me he was an actor the entire time I'd known him, but it also confused me as to why I had never asked him. I felt selfish. I would ramble on and on about my books, but never once ask him about his life. He released me from the hug and I pulled him by his collar to kiss him. 

No matter how badly Jonah may screw up, no matter what he does, I don't think I could ever stop myself from loving him.