THE AFTERHOUR

X. The Final Memory:

Jamien stayed silent. He couldn't formulate an answer for that. Who could respond to such a thing? What should he do now? Cry? Be angry? Be scared? There are so many things he could do, but none seemed appropriate, or would make even a lick of sense. He just stood there, in the silence of this Library, unable to take in what the Entity had just told him. It was now standing quietly, giving time, space and honoring his need to process this information. But how could he even process it? Is there even a way to? He wanted to yell at the ghastly figure, to tell it that it was lying, this couldn't be true. Yet in his heart, there was something else, the need to accept this. Confusion and anger overtook him, and he charged at the Entity.

As if was expecting his reaction, it simply just vanished. Without a trace. No sounds. No warnings. It just disappeared.

"Please, understand." - The Entity said from behind his back, it had reappeared five meters away from him - "I know how you feel."

"No! You fucking don't!" - He roared - "You don't have a clue what that feels like!"

Jamien attempted to run at the Entity again, but it just simply vanished and rematerialized somewhere else.

"I understand more than you know" - It said sadly, almost human-like - "And I really want to help you through this, if you would let me."

"The only thing you will do, is to let me the hell out of here!" - Jamien shouted his demand. He could hear his own voice and was somewhat taken aback by it: He sounded terrifying, animalistic even.

He chased after the Entity again. This time he tripped over and fell flat on the floor, his legs seemed to have turned into jelly. Jamien felt a tingling sensation on his face: He had been crying. Unexpectedly, he felt a cold touch, the ghastly figure was by his side, helping him up. Jamien didn't try to attack it this time, he just let it happen.

"You know I can't do that, I do not have that kind of power here. I am simply an observer, your guide, here to look after you. And I intend to do that job to the best of my ability."

"That presence..." - He said weakly, a realization dawned on him - "At the garden, that was you?"

"That is correct." - the being nodded its blank, smooth face, confirming his suspicion - "I have always been with you, Jamien, and you have felt me too. We have a bond, a connection. Every time you felt something in the back of your neck, or that sensation you had like you were not entirely alone,...I was there, looking after you and making sure you reach your final destination: Here."

"And here,", Jamien gestured theatrically and mockingly towards the towering bookshelves and all of their seemingly infinite content, "Is a library."

"Not just any library, Jamien. YOUR Library" - The Entity corrected him. - "Every single moment of your life, every interaction, every word you have ever uttered, has been recorded, here."

Jamien marveled at the vast yet impossibly occupied space he was standing in. There were thousands, no, millions of books here, maybe even more.

"That can't be...there can't be so many books here...I couldn't have been alive that long." - He disagreed.

"You were thirty-five at the time of your death, yes, it was a tragedy. So young..."

" But I can't remember it, my death." - He interrupted it- "How do I not remember it?"

The Entity tilted its head, if a blank face could seem uncomfortable, he certainly did it.

"Because you don't have that memory." - It replied guiltily - "I have found it to be the best way...to help you cope. It was not given to you by the gem."