JINGREN IS LIFE (sorry but not sorry)

my homies understood each other🥹

Blade's sleep that night was surely the best he made days after arriving at the Loufu.
Usually, his mara didn't let him sleep much, but after being with Jingyuan, it shouted down completely.

Blade dreamed of all the past events he forgot, so it didn't feel like he had rested, because, with all the nice memories, the bad memories kept coming back to hunt him.
To be honest, he didn't really want to remember these parts. He still felt they were too much for him.

But one thing kept rolling in his mind completely.

How could he have forgot Jingyuan?
He felt guilty about it. How he talked to him, and how he provoked him, without purpose.
Jingyuan was right to be angry with him, as he waited for Blade to come back, to say him at least an "hi", but nothing of that actually happened.
He felt that he had missed Jingyuan, thinking about it. He felt miserable.
Blade remembered now, how Jingyuan suffered all the past events:
firstly, Baifeng's death, then his master's and Blade's, and in the end, he had to judge Danheng's sins.
How much more could Jingyuan endure?

He had to apologize to him, and still, it wouldn't have been enough.

Blade opened his eyes, feeling depressed.
He felt a bitter taste in his stomach and throat, making him hard to breathe.
Why did he never care for Jingyuan, all that time?
How did he even forget him?
Jingyuan was supposed to be his closest person, so how did he end up getting blinded by revenge?
Blade felt he couldn't understand his own person anymore, now that he regained most of his memories.

Blade wanted to look for him in that same instant, but he knew he could only make Jingyuan suffer more.
He had to wait, to disappear in the shadows.

Only in that moment he started to look around.
He recognized immediately Jingyuan's palace, it was the same of his master:
it was sumptuous, with wide windows and gold curtains; marble columns and white walls.
He sat up slowly and looked at the light filtering through the windows. It was late morning.
As he got up, something that was covering his body fell. Blade reached down to pick the thing up, and realised that it was the coat Jingyuan used to cover him.
He sighed at the familiar scent.
Also, he discovered that his clothes had been repaired and he was all clean. Could Jingyuan have the time to do something like this? He could hardly believe it.
Jingyuan probably had someone else do it.
With that, Blade noticed that he had  slept in a comfortable sofa in the big living room.
The feeling of guilt hit him again.
So he decided to leave, but not immediately. He wanted to wait for Jingyuan's return, so he went out to wander around.
And like this, evening came.

So Blade came back to Jingyuan's palace, wanting to have a talk with him.
As he was in front of the door he sighed, and suddenly felt his mara hitting again.
Blade trembled and clentched his fits, supporting himself on the door frame.

"Fuck-" he cursed in his mind, "I can't afford to forget him now".

He gritted his teeth, focusing on repeat what he was going to do.
"I have to apologize, I have to apologize..."

And after some struggling, he managed to not forget.

"Hah... that was close..." His breath was rushing slightly, as he laughed at himself.

Then, without thinking much about it, Blade knocked at the door.
After some instants, Jingyuan came to open.
The light behind his shoulders lighted up Blade's face, as he was looking directly at him. In that moment, Jingyuan was wearing casual, with a hoodie and long pants.

«I thought I told you to leave the Xianzhou, and I'll pretend like nothing happened». Jingyuan looked at him with a cold expression as he was closing the door again.