Karmas bitter but so am I (S.A.M.S.)

Chapter 17 - "When is this going to get easier?"

(Narrators POV)

Eclipse told himself many lies. He knew some of the deceptions he fed himself were merely made for comfort, considered a coping mechanism to those more emotionally intelligent than he was. Lunar mentioned it offhand a few times, and Sun gave him looks that suggested his own agreement, but he never truly took those words into serious consideration. It felt burdening, to mull over the extent of his life and all that he's done over the course of it. It reminded him of things he tires himself trying to avoid.

But sometimes, he gets caught up in those thoughts. Those aching reminders that float from one side of his head to another, always able to find the right spot to take all his focus at the worst time possible. Certain days, those sometimes become all times, constantly battling against him as he struggles to keep his composure against the incessant plague that haunts his mind. It's utterly exhausting.

On those days, Moon always manages to find him somehow. May it be by chance or badly hidden worried intent, Moon always finds him.

Today is a bad day. A day filled with memories and reminders that sting at every wound he's ever had, the ache in his chest becoming worse the more he lays, his own mind threatening to consume him.

Blood Moon isn't here, currently, having gotten Eclipse's word that he would still be there when they returned from their hunt. At first, he thought nothing of it- Blood Moon had their own things to do, he understood that. Respected it, even. However, once his head managed to get it's grubby hands on whatever coherence he had, he instantly regretted letting them go.

And now, here he lays: under the blankets, trembling so much that the mere thought of standing makes him dizzy and nauseous. Despite his inherent weakness, his claws clutch vainly at the bed sheets, grasping so hard that they run holes into the fabric.

Oh, how his mind drags him on, teaching him the steps to a dance he already knows, but loathes all the same.

"KC!"

Eclipse stiffens for the hundredth time today, eyes growing wider the deeper he falls into the memory.

"KC! YOU CAN'T LET THEM DO THIS!!"

His systems begin to overheat, vents coming in quick, short intervals that do nothing to prevent his impending panic.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!"

He doesn't hear the door click softly open, doesn't hear the footsteps that approach him.

"Let him go."

A hand reaches out to him, hesitating to touch his shaking shoulder.

"LET HIM GO!"

Eclipse jolts backwards, his hand flying up to grasp Moon's wrist even so. The tips of his claws dig into the soft sleeves of Moon's outfit, cutting holes into the pristine fabric.

"Eclipse! It's just me!" Moon shouts, taking a step back after Eclipse registers who it is and that he doesn't intend to bring any harm, thusly releasing Moon in the process. He shifts further out of Moon's reach, pressing his back to the wall his bed sits against as Moon gives him a cautious glare.

"What's your problem?" He snaps after a moment of pause, earning a tired look from Eclipse that almost makes Moon pity him.

"Nothing. Leave." Eclipse retorts almost immediately, his gaze sharpening into a glare as he forces the exhaustion out of his expression. Moon looks dubious.

"You...can talk to me, you know. I won't think any less of you, or whatever."

Moon's words strike a chord within Eclipse that seems to steal all the words from his mouth, since, for the next few moments, all he can do is stare. It makes no sense. How could he be so careless with his concern? Hasn't Eclipse hurt him enough?