Does Shrek Fuck?

Does he??

         "Hello and welcome back to 'Does Shrek Fuck'. The show where we answer the age old question: does Shrek fuck? Here with me today is my cohost: Shrek. So, Shrek, tell me; do you fuck?"

       "No comment"

     "And that's the show! Tune in next time when we ask once more: does Shrek fuck? I've been your host, Ryan Bergara! And this has been 'Does Shrek Fuck'!"

          Shane Madej walks into the office. "Uh, hey Beef Boy. You've been canceled."

         "What? How? I haven't even found out if Shrek fucks yet!"

       "Yeah. About that. Everyone knows Shrek fucks. He has three kids and is the only ogre in the world other than his wife and kids. Obviously he fucks and we've gotten a lot of angry comments from people saying you're clickbaiting an obvious answer."

          "But Shane, that's not fair! I've spent years researching this very topic! There's no way everyone knows but me! How do we even know the kids are his? Or that they're not from some sort of ogre asexual reproduction cycle? I need to know the truth and I'm getting close! I can feel it! He's Almost ready to talk! I promise! Shane, please!"

         "Ryan, get up, this is getting sad. Why don't we go walk around a spooky haunted jail or something. We can do the Estes method."

        "That... that actually sounds really nice. I'd like that."

         "Ok Beef Boy, wipe away those tears and go get some gear. I'll meet you at the van."

       While Ryan gathers his gear, Shrek comes up behind him and whispers in his ear: "I do fuck, Ryan Bergara. I do." And then he disappears, never to be seen again.