Does Shrek Fuck?

The world needs to know

         "I met Shrek at the grocery store once."

         "No you didn't."

       "Yes I did. He sold me an onion."

     "What?"

     "Yeah, he gave, like, this whole speech about onions and ogres and was like, "if you have layers like me, you have layers like this onion. Take it home and consume the layers." I was like: 'Shrek, my dude, you want me to fuck up this onion? Like straight up kill this bitch? That's cold man. who hurt you?' You'll never guess what he said."

         "Maybe that it's just a vegetable and his metaphor wasn't that deep?"

        "No. Donkey was crushed by his dragon wife while they were doin' it."

       "Doin' it?"

        "Ya know. It! Bow chicka wow wow."

        "Damn. Good for him."

       "I know right."

      The detective stares in disbelief as the suspect and her partner have the most deranged conversation she's ever witnessed. She clears her throat and they stop talking. "That wasn't the question. The question was 'why did you stab that Shrek impersonator?"

       "Oh, yeah, obviously. He was pretending to be Shrek; who I know personally. so I stabbed him."

       The detectives partner looks at her and scoffs. "Obviously, detective. Keep up."

      The detective lets out an exasperated sigh and walks out of the interrogation room; while her partner starts up another deranged conversation about Shrek.

      "Does Shrek fuck?"

      "Yeah, but he's not very good at it."

        "You've banged Shrek?"

        "Obviously"

        "Nice"