Help Me

Chapter Four

A pair of black, steel cap boots, tied impressively to their owners feet, stood next to my head. Currently curled up in a ball in the corner of the room. My body had gone into shock, I was fine with being pricked, poked and examined… but not down there, that brought up many painful memories I would rather not remember. If I was being totally honest right now.

It felt like my mind had jumped off a cliff, the spiralling sinking feeling my head was experiencing felt horrendous. One that I didn’t wish upon my worst enemy.

The next pair of shoes to emerge into my eye line were the ones belonging to Dr. Wilson. She started to crouch down slowly, “Luna, sweetheart please can you cooperate? If not, I will have to get my boss down here and that sadly won’t end well for you.” Meeting her eyes slowly, her eyes held a steady gaze into mine. A comforting gaze, a gaze that I don’t think I had ever truly received before.

Debating what to do, this was a hard decision to make. Not wanting to get myself in even more trouble than I was already in, getting to my feet slowly. My body was still shaking uncontrollably, making me slightly wobbly. If you had seen me it looked like I was either high off my rocker or completely pissed.

Dr. Wilson smiled at me, “good choice Luna.” Was all she said, as she led me back to the examination table. Stopping abruptly, in my head I didn’t fully want to submit but my gut was telling me to submit and let them do whatever they pleased. Like last time… shaking my head of those impending thoughts that no doubt would start running, free of charge, around in circles. Creating more anguish that was completely unnecessary, but that was my mind for you.

Taking a deep breath, in… hold… out… that's one thing I got taught in therapy to ‘breathe’ but breathing caused more pain than calmness most of the time, so I had always ignored that advice they so helpingly tried to serve me with. Breathing in deeply again… there was no way out of this for me. Weighing up the options again in my head. I could let them do what they want, without a struggle being a perfect detainee. The other option was to put up an immense struggle and suffer whatever the consequences that got thrown my way. That option most likely involves me being strapped down and/ or drugged.

Choosing the first option, noting the fact I will be conscious to know what they were going to do to me. Climbing back onto the bed, shutting my eyes tightly, trying to steady my breathing. This was it, no turning back now. “Good girl.” Dr. Wilson cooed, gently moving my legs back into the position they were in before. This time my two captors were standing next to the bed, either side, ready to pounce into action if anything went south.

Dr. Wilson had gone to the storage area, my body was still shaking violently from the whole ordeal. Eventually she came back with another tray. Sighing softly to myself, not wanting to go through with this but not wanting to face the more severe consequences that could possibly come catapulting my way.

Placing the tray down on top of the other tray that she had brought out previously, sitting down on her medical stool. My body was still shaking rapidly, not being able to control it. My breathing also was deteriorating again, short laboured breaths left my lungs at a rapid concession.

Feeling something on my leg, flinching hard, not being able to register it was just Dr. Wilsons hand rubbing soothing circles on my leg. “Luna, breathe. You are going to pass out if you carry on hyperventilating, we need to start getting your breathing regulated again.” Her words sounded like they were being spoken underwater.

Starting to see blotches in my vision, maybe I was getting my wish of dying, maybe this was it, maybe they had finally opened the gates to hell, inviting me in with welcome arms.

Starting to come round again, this time with an oxygen mask on my face. Breathing the oxygen in deeply, holding it and then exhaling. Sighing deeply, feeling a lot better. It was a strange feeling, the feeling like I was on top of the world almost a floating feeling. It was an amazing feeling, one I never wanted to come down from. A sense of euphoria.

Feeling something touch my legs, not really paying attention to it as I was currently on cloud nine. Then the feeling of something touching me down there made my whole body jolt, my body reacting but my mind completely unaware.

There was a muffle of voices, not being able to make out distinct voices and/ or words. Feeling my body jolt again, this was such a weird experience, I felt trapped in my own mind, my vision blurred, my hearing distorted badly. Just seeing blobs near me.

It felt peaceful not being able to feel any panic, just a sense of peace but euphoria at the same time. You would never assume the two words would ever collide together, but they seemed fitting for how I felt. A sense of bubbliness inside of me but an overwhelming sense of calm. Being in this state made me long for this feeling more. It was one I would start trying to chase every second I had, every agonising minute that ticked by slowly will be suppressed with this wild chase for this wild, carefree, out of this world experience that my body was raging with.

My body reacted again, there was an immense pressure down there but my mind was just ignoring all the red flags. Like normal. As soon as the pressure was there it was gone again. Someone took the oxygen mask off of my face. The feeling of euphoria slowly started to disperse. My vision started to come round, my hearing gradually started to go back to normal as well. This whole experience was a unique one. “Welcome back Luna, you are all done, you will next be taken to the decontamination area.” The gentle voice of Dr. Wilson rang around my ears, not really registering properly the words she had just spoken.

Someone grabbed my legs, flinching violently again at the action, my body not accepting anyones touch. Not really understanding as my memory was a little hazy as to what had just happened. Feeling a gloved hand grabbing my upper arm, the same thing happening on the other side. 

Picking me up by my arms, lifting me off of the table moments ago I had been lying on. Dragging / pulling me along. Exiting out of the door Dr. Wilson had first entered from. Looking around at my surroundings as we exited the room. Where was next on this awful, not so thrilling, adventure I was currently endeavouring on without my consent.
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Word count: 1177