Bob's POV
Oh yeah motherfuckers. I used the magic drugs to get (slightly) S M A R T (er) now. Also that weird as hell TV dude game me magic or some shit to advance the plot.
And it's time for conflict.
~~~
SMG4's POV
Huh. Well, that's weird.
SMG3: Hey dude so mario was just being a dumbass don't worry he's alive
SMG4: Ok thank you! Where is he?
SMG3: I said he was being a dumbass, obviously he's with bob!!
Of course. Well, too bad I couldn't hang out with Mario today like we planned, but at least I had a nice afternoon of nothing.
SMG4: Can you come get me?
A minute later, Three came out of a plot convenience portal. "Ugh, for some reason the plot convenience magic really doesn't want me to just zap you back to Starbucks, so I actually have to come get you for whatever reason... come on, scrub."
(Hmm yes I do wonder why the plot convenience magic forces you to come get SMG4 back to Starbucks...especially considering that you need to hold hands to make the portal)
"Just get it over with!" Three groaned, taking my hand and summoning a portal before pushing me in.
~~~
"Hey! Can you stop forcefully throwing me into our portals?! It's not funny!"
SMG3 snickered. "But you never see it coming! Your reactions are always genuine. Plus I'm filming all of this for a funny compilation..." I slapped him.
SMG3 flinched and glared at me, but before he could say anything, I spoke. "That's not cool, man! I don't wanna do this!" I turned to leave. I put on a wedding dress yesterday for Youtube and I live in a Starbucks with SMG3. How much further am I gonna fall?
I mean...it could be worse.
I could have been living with Mario right now.
"HELLO!"
Speak of the devil.
"What's up guys, I hope we weren't intruding on you two fruitloops!" Bob joked. Is it just me, or does he seem less...Bob-like? He doesn't talk like Gamzee Makara anymore.
"Oh, hey Bob! And you too, Mario. Where were you? I thought we scheduled gaming," I said. "Was your Virtual Boy broken?" The annoyed Avatar glared at me.
"Es em gee four! No! Bob dragged Mario into a murder-y place and I was almost pressured to buy M A G I C D R U G S ! Also he's being weird!" Mario cried. "Help Mario figure this out! Please!"
I sighed. "Mario, nothing is wrong. Bob's always weird. I'm sure this is just a phase!" I turned back to my computer but I swear I could hear Bob saying "IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM!"
Odd guy.
~~~
Bob(?)'s POV
[New host acquired]!
[Uploading] memories...
[Downloading] information...
[Making]
[Everything]
[Perfect].
"wHo tHe fUcK arE YoU???" I asked. "hOLy shiT my ThOugHts aRen'T tYpED ouT LiKe gAmZeE MakARa's diALogUe anYMorE!"
Calm yourself, [Bob].
I am here to [make everything] [perfect].
[Knowledge]? Wisdom? [Power]? [You want it? it's yours, my friend, as long as you have] trust in me.
"oH cOoL, yOu cAN rEfErenCe dEad MemEs. yAy. fUckiNg wAstE of mAgiC dRuG mOnEy! I kNew I sHouLd HavE pLantEd tHem iN tHe gArdeN aNd gRowN a giAnt wEeD bEaNsTaLk!" I said angrily. "fUck! wHy diD yOu fuCk wiTh tHe naRraToR iN my HeAd?! nOW my gRaMmaR isn'T doGshiT! tHat WaS fOr cOmEdiC pUrpoSeS!"
I [apologize], [Bob], but that is not how I operate.
For me to have [CONTROL], [IT'S GOTTA BE PERFECT].
"wOW wHaT a cRypTic fUckiNg mEssAge nO OnE cAres aBout bRo!"
You find me useless. That is all [going to change] when you're a [BIG SHOT], [Bob]. You'll have fields of [money], crowds of [fandom] (ERROR) SORRY I MEANT [fans], and in your words, "[OCEANS OF BITCHES, BABY]".
"sO yOu'Re a SkEtcHy mAgiC dRuG gEnie iN mY bRaiN thAt cAN dO aNytHing???"
That would be [one-way] to describe me.
"aNd tHe onLy cOsT is YoU bOrRowiNg mY mEmoRieS?"
...
...That is [all].
"swEeT! I acCePt!"
~~~
SMG3's POV
Okay, yeah. Bob's acting hella sus...too bad Mario's too much of a fucking imbecile to notice anything, and I don't think SMG4 thinks much of it either. Well, at least he's leaving. Back to work in a minute... why did I let Four stay here again? Everything always just feels so...nervous and choking every time I'm even around him. Ugh, I dunno how to describe it! Like...butterflies in my stomach but say it edgier!
Probably just that stupid meme magic.
"Yip!"
"Eggdog!" I said. "Oh, who's a good boy? Who's the most adorable little floofball in the entire Internet Graveyard? Oh, you are! Yes, you are! Yesss..." The meme barked at me again and curled up into...well, not a ball, more like an egg, but he can't help it. Anyway, before I knew it, he was curled up on my lap meaning I couldn't get up without disturbing the Ancient Gods of Death and Destruction.
"Hey, Thr-" SMG4 came in and saw Eggdog. "Aw, it's Eggdog! He's adorable! You've got great parenting skills, Three. Beeg SMG4 still tries to murder me on the daily!" Four gave a pathetic laugh before heading into the bathroom to put a mountain of those ugly Band-aids with cartoon characters on them on his arm, which had like 20 sharp Beeg Four bite marks.
"Huh. Wait, where IS Beeg SMG4?" I asked. "Not that I care or anything like that."
"Oh!" Four smiled. "I worked it out with Mario, Beeg Four will stay with him until we find our new home, since he was upset that I cancelled my visit. I'm sure they're taking great care of him!"
(Meanwhile)
Mario: COME BACK HERE, MAMA-F***ER!
Beeg SMG4: Eugh (YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE)
*glass shattering and gunshot sounds*
"Yeah, I'm sure he's fine," I said. "Heheh, you and Mario are like a married couple. Sharing a kid and crap, gayass. And fighting. No wonder Bob called you a fruitloop."
"Hey!" said Four. "H-he called you a fruitloop too! He s-said it to the both of us!" SMG4 was desperately trying to preserve his dignity in this situation and failing horribly. Weak-ass stutter, whiny voice, cute face...
Baby face- I meant baby face, like- the punchable kind.
Damn it...
What's wrong with me this week?
YOU ARE READING
We're Friends Now, Aren't We? (SMG34)
Fanfiction(Takes place after the IGBP movie) ''Really? You'd do that for me?'' ''Eh, sure. Whatever. I kinda own that Starbucks, you know.'' ''I...I don't know what to say! Thank you so much, Three...'' ''Heh. We're friends now, aren't we? Even I wouldn't...
