I just came out to my friends as trans and my best friend made fun of me. I listen to music it helps. Music is a way to escape. Music is what gets me through my bad times. Maybe I need more music I need more music that people don't like but I would scream my heart out to just so I could do something myself. If I comite suicide that's not special everything I've done has been done before every letter I'm typing has been typed before. Everyday I live someone is living. Everytime I want to be dead someone else wants to be dead. Especially those pick me girls at school who start yelling and crying "I want to die I hate my life please pay attention to me" man I fucking hate Hannah that's no joke yet she is always a joke. No one likes her it's quite obvious. Music could help her if she sounded any good. I sound horrible singing yet I do choir. I'm a trans masc 12 year old who changed their name to Elliot and I listen to music as my way of therapy as a way of helping my autism to help my gender dismorphia. Every song I listen to has been listened to before every breath of air I take has been breathed my someone else. Please I'm in 2023 there is no new air. Every Carrere I want has been done by someone else. I'm not special not that I'm here you can't do anything original you can't be trans and be the first product the last. I can't even come out to my parents. Especially not my brother he has made it clear he hates all lgbtq so I have to wait till college and run away know what I need it's all set I just have to wait 6 more long ass years. I feel sick all the time I want to cry all the time i cant help it well I can help not crying but I can't stop the feeling. Music helps maybe I should write music but I sound horrible who would listen to me? No wonder I never do a solo in choir I'd just be embarrassing myself. I should have done band Tyler has even told me to.
