Treasure | Ateez

| 21 |

"Audere est Facere"

- To do is to dare

☾ ☾ ☾

Music

It flowed through Aeris's ears and through her bones, lighting up a rhythm around her body like that of flames racing across a dragons back. Rising in a crescendo before subsiding into itself. 

It was pain and it was pleasure. It was death but it gave her life. 

And her eyes flew open.

Pain coursed through her in an intensity that seemed impossible to overcome, a strangled yelp left her throat, arms cruising across the empty ar in a crazed array of tears and shck There were no words to be spoken, no actions to be made expect for the strangled gasps of her breath and the rush of footsteps before the door burst open.

"Shes awake!"

"Keep your voice down!"

"Well I'm sorry its been a week and she-" 

And she collapsed once again.

It took some time before she regained consciousness once again. Rising from the waves of her dreams, clutching onto the light that made its way through her closed eyelids before blurry eyes revealed a worried Yeosang, one hand across her forehead and the other reaching for a wet towel hanging by the bed frames. His stance is worried and his hands warm, the others are nowhere to be seen. 

She rose with a small sigh, biting back screams of pain as she felt the stitches stretch across her side. A wave of emotions crash through her with every breath. Guilt, anger, confusion and-

"You should have let me die" 

It is a whisper out of a dry throat, a hopeless wish from the mouths of a lost dreamer. 

"Aeris," His voice is sad, his hands resting at his sides as he holds out a cup for her to drink from. Taking his time to make sure she is comfortable, keeping an eyes on her wounds and shifting the herbs closer to her bedside. "You shouldn't be-"

"No" she cuts him off, shaking her head in frantic worry and looking wide eyed across the room. "No, where is he? Where is Captain? He- I-"

"He's fine," San walks in without a single sound, baleful eyes cast on her as she flinches at his voice. San notices, hands curling to fists as she shrinks back from his gaze. He wants to see her smile, he wants everything to be normal again. "He's in his room."

"I didn't-" She couldn't bring herself to say it, the words dying down her throat as a sob threatens to burst out. 

She has never cared for anyone before, she has never had to. This is something so different, something she cannot wrap her mind around. There has never been any need for her to become close to anyone, no one she could know whose wellbeing would not be threatened by her. 

She had kept herself hidden. 

She had never trusted herself. 

"I didn't mean to, I really didn't want to! I couldn't - no - I wouldn't have done anything like this to you all and I," tears burn down her cheeks, the humiliating stains making rivers that dripped down her face. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I cannot apologise enough and I know it means nothing after what I have done and I-"

Her apology knows no end, the words bursting out in torrents as the rest of the crew gather outside in silence. Their figures cover the entering moonlight, their breaths intermingling as the girl gasped for breath, not letting them interrupt her as she continued with her rushed out apology. 

"Aeris-" Mingi tried once again, shuffling towards her with a small smile on his face as he tried to comfort her. She flinched backwards, head hitting the wall as her eyes filled with terror at his closeness. 

She would hurt him. 

She would kill him.

"Stop it" Yunho chastised her, his eyes hard as he saw through the the shivering girl. Sympathy rising in his chest, overtaking the rage that had simmered for so long. 

She was scared, she was afraid of them. 

She was terrified of herself. 

"Stop it" she repeated his words, falling into silence as she looked at them. "I'm sorry"

"Your apologies won't bring him back" Wooyoung spat at the ground, not bothering to hide his anger as he crossed his arms, running one hand through his hair before scoffing. "Aurora knows you shouldn't have either" 

"Wooyoung," Seonghwa's tone was dark, lips pursing as Aeris shrunk more into herself.

The voices pounding darkly in her head as her eyes glazed over, the silver rims illuminating the stars decorating the night sky as her breathing continued to grow more uneven. 

It hurt, it hurt to listen to the person she had considered to be the closest to her say it. She should have known better, she should have run away when she could. But those words were true, and they all knew it. 

Jongho felt her apology, realising the absolute sincerity behind it along with the facade of the brick wall she had created crumbling with every stab thrown at her. He didn't say a thing, letting his eyes fall to the open door at the other end of the passageway. 

His captain had not woken. 

Atleast, not yet. 

☾ ☾ ☾