Bakudeku smuts and fluffs <3

D-deku..? (Mini angst)

This was a request from @Rosemary737214 so here you go bestie

Im writing more bakudeku stuff about suicide fuck the mental health this is 🤡fun🗿 for me so yeah let's go. Um... obviously suicidal thoughts, self harm, bullying lol, gayness- lots of it probably. I haven't yet decided if this will be very smutty but there will definitely be like kissing and stuff like this ain't coronavirus we gon be real close to each other 😩 also you guys it's so funny because I have and am still dealing with this kind of stuff so it's like a journal entry but I replace my name with Izuku's. By the way, this isn't smut sorry to all the whores but this will be a very emotional chapter and hopefully you guys will like it. Maybe if you ask very nicely I'll add a smut that is connected to Izuku and Katsuki being mad emo depresso espresso

He needed to stop.

He should stop.

He couldn't though. It was an addiction like any other. But not drugs, not alcohol not any substances.

Cutting.

He couldn't stop it was always on his mind like a dark cloud that had started to rain, soon drenching his clothes hair and mind with nothing but the thoughts of a small pocket knife cutting the scarred flesh of his forearm.

There was something so hypnotic about closing your eyes, then opening them and there was a little red line blooming on your skin, quickly growing into something more until the warm red liquid began to drip and pool on the floor. Not that it felt good, but he knew he must deserve it.

He didn't want to like it. He wanted to stop, but once he started he felt so high like he could do anything in that moment when really he couldn't do much of anything at all.

In reality, he was more or less powerless to the constant blaring of sirens in his mind telling him to cut himself.

If you asked, he would tell you that he totally wasn't suicidal and that he wanted to love and that he just did it to feel something.

But he would be lying.

Someone who wants to live doesn't frequently write their own suicide note "for fun".

Someone who wants to live doesn't look up how to properly hang yourself, and practice, claiming it's "for fun".

Someone who wants to live doesn't search how much medicine would take to kill you, but that's "for fun" too.

Someone who wants to live probably doesn't cut so close to their wrist it's a miracle they haven't died yet, but maybe that is just for fun too.

Maybe he stays up every night wishing he were dead just for fun too.

Maybe he even started for fun too. Who knows, maybe he enjoys spiraling down rabbit holes of despair after the person you were living for, just to try to be as good as him telling him to jump off of the roof of the school.

Maybe thinking "well I can't do that because some kid might see and get scared, but I could slit my wrists if it would make Kacchan happy" is fun for him.

Maybe he just really enjoys sobbing on the floor of his bedroom, only to be interrupted by the flint of scissors he keeps in his bedroom.

Who knows maybe he even has fun carving the words "Sorry Kacchan" into his arms and legs.

Maybe he thinks scars look really pretty, so he made sure to cut extra deep so the lines would stay for as long as possible.

It could be that he likes long sleeves and he would totally be okay with telling people his problem and admitting to others that he is hurting. Not that he has a problem.