Sad Beautiful Tragic

20-Dedications

20-Dedications

 

 

"I've been thinking about going back...home." I told him as we strolled the streets to my apartment. "I mean, it's been quite a while since I've been there."

"Yeah," he whispers and squeezes my hand gently. "You can pay your Dad a visit."

I nodded. "I haven't gone back to him since November, I think."

"The months blurred all together, haven't they?" He smiles and I returned it. "So, when are you planning to leave?"

"I don't know." I murmured and looked down at my shoes. "Can you come with me?"

I was looking at him now and I know the answer.

I sighed. "Never mind," and I tried to form the smile I can muster. "It was a stupid question."

He shook his head. "It's not. It's just that...you know work and how I'm taking care of Louie. The kid went to his mother the day I attended your Dad's--"

"Yeah," I cut him off before he can even utter the words I'm still not prepared to hear. Funeral, what was so hard in that? Burial, what was so painful in that?

Oh. It's because it's my father's. Those words are what comes next after 'My Father's.'

"I'm sorry, Ray."

"It's okay." I said and leaned up to kiss his cheek. We were in front of my apartment building and let go of him. "I'm going in."

"Well, send me a postcard." He finally jokes and I winked at him before getting through the doors.

~

The special photo for my special person was of course, the stargazer in the jar...the one I took before Dad passed away.

It stands in the middle of the room with the pictures of my father surrounding it. Richie came to its opening.

She cried.

That was given.

Anyways, I remembered the reason for coming back home.

My sister will give birth to my niece soon. Or in three months, I don't know...I'm not mom material to know this. So Henry's out of the country and she's all alone in the house. Of course I have to watch over her and I need to visit my Dad and my Mom.

I've been far too gone.

But coming back means facing everything I left behind again.