Sad Beautiful Tragic

Where there's Fire, there's Love

WHERE THERE’S FIRE, THERE’S LOVE

 

The day came when David had to leave for school. It was a weird scene, thinking he’d never come back and at the same time knowing that he will. He read it on my face and kissed me hard.

“Oh, don’t worry now,” he smiles. “Today is not a day for doubts, Guinevere.”

“I don’t doubt you, Arthur.” I assured him. “Never,”

He was still kissing me when his phone rang and we both had to check the time and see if we had any. “I have to go.” He whispers on my mouth and I nodded absentmindedly. “But I’ll be back.”

“I know, I know,” I kept on repeating and because I did—I did know—I let him go. I watched him drive away, standing on my front porch as if I could stand there till he got back. This must be what he was feeling when I left.

What a horrible, disastrous feeling, I thought and went back inside to tuck myself in front of the fire.

~

Hey.

‘Hey’ seems like a lame thing to write now that it’s written but I had nothing else to do but wait for you. You’ll probably get this in a week or two, given that it’s snail mail quite literally.

I talked to you today and I’ve given you brief replies about my boring day. I told you the weather and what I’m wearing and how Richie was. You were obviously wanting for more—or not—but here it is.

It’s been a month and I miss you. Every day, when I wake up, I imagine you just sleeping because you’ve been up all night studying. I hope you are and though it sucks to hear it, I really wish you aren’t out there partying and drinking cheap beer in a red plastic cup. But, the perks of our long distance relationship right now is how you can completely ignore this letter and tell me how you’ve never gotten it. You can dismiss my suggestions—demands—in a snap. And I don’t blame you.

If I was the old me, I would’ve done the same thing. I still am myself, the reckless selfish stupid person I was a few months ago. But I guess, I’ve modified into a better version. It’s like how iPhones are these days. The fifth version is an application different from the sixth version. Speaking of which, I’ve lost at least five pounds the past week. Richie gained twice as much being seven months in.

I pray to God the baby’s alright. Rich keeps on munching up the sugar in the cupboards and I really think that’s bad. I may not be a doctor but I’m not that ignorant.

Great, now you’ve got me thinking about babies. You know, in all my years, I’ve never had a thought about them. This has one exception but let’s forget about that. Even with Luke, I’ve never imagined myself as a mother.

Then you happened and I wondered if I’d be a great mom because I know that you’ll be a great dad.

David, if you ever change your mind…

I was lucky enough to find someone like you to love me as I was or am. I’m content with that. Be with me after, I’ll be the luckiest. But our lives aren’t of luck but timing. I guess that’s where I suck, too. There are things that I’ve told you and there are things that I’m still trying to tell you but out of all the bad things, let me tell you, cheesiness aside; you are by far the best thing.

Get some sleep and know that I miss you. Writing this letter is making me mushy.

-Ray.