Happier (Michael x Noah)

M. Noah

"My love, I'm not coming back. I'm sorry."

My heart drops to the floor. Tears start to stream from my eyes and a sob forces itself out of me as my heart breaks. "Wh-What?" I ask. My voice is distorted by sobs.

Tears fill his eyes. "I'm not coming back." He starts to cry, his smile wavering. "I w-want you to be h-happy. S-So, I-I'm leaving. Permanently."

More sobs start to force themselves out of me. "M-Michael..."

He shakes his head and wipes the tears from my face. "Don't tell me that you're happy with me because I know that you're not. It's obvious. You love me, but you're not happy being with me." He wipes more tears away, then lightly kisses my cheek.

"Wh-What?" I grab hold of his hands, holding him close. "No, that's... That's not true!"

He frowns. "Isn't it, though? You're always stressed out of your mind around me. You love me—anybody can see that. But you're not happy."

"But— B-But—" I stutter, but he cuts me off.

"No, Noah," he says, his voice wavering. "Be honest. Are you happy when you're with me?"

"O-Of course!" I exclaim, tears filling my eyes. "You're my boyfriend of— of however long! Of course, I'm happy with you!"

"Let me see your watch," he says, reaching for my wrist.

I hesitate, confused. "Um, okay... Why?" I ask quietly, holding out my wrist for him.

He doesn't answer me. Instead, he swipes to the side a few times before pressing a button. He frowns when he looks closer at the screen, and then shows me the screen. "Look at your stress levels. You were perfectly fine, but as soon as you saw me, your stress levels went off of the charts."

I blink, trying to process what he said, then look at my watch. He's right. I pull my phone out of my pocket and open the health app that connects to my watch, pulling up previous days' charts. He's right. Whenever I've been with him, my stress levels have always been super high. But when I haven't been, I've been fine.

"You're... You're happy with the idea of being around me. But you're not happy when you're actually with me," he says quietly.

"But— But—" I stutter, but he puts his finger over my mouth, shushing me.

"I know, I know. You love me. I love you, too. But you deserve to be happy, too." He smiles sadly, reaching up to wipe the tears from my eyes before gently rubbing my cheek with his thumb. I lean into his touch, closing my eyes.

"I don't want to live without you," I say softly, my voice so quiet that I doubt I even spoke at first.

"I know. I don't want to live without you, either." He gently kisses my forehead, and I open my eyes, shocked to see that he has tears streaming from his eyes. "But it's for the best. For both of us."

I pull my sleeve over my hand and use it to wipe his tears away. He laughs softly, leaning into my hand as he muses, "You're so sweet."

I smile slightly, sniffling softly in an attempt to keep myself from crying. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you, too." He smiles sadly, reaching up to rest his hand on my neck, gently pulling my head down to his level so he can rest his forehead against mine.

I lean forward slightly, looking him in the eyes before glancing away. "Can I..." I start to ask, but I change my mind, looking away.

He laughs softly, brushing the hair out of my miscolored eye. I can feel my face flush red just from that small movement—he knows how much I hate my green eye being exposed.

"You can," he says softly, smiling the smallest bit. "I don't mind."

"Are you sure?" I ask quietly, suddenly feeling nervous. Why am I scared to kiss him? I've kissed him so many times before.

He just laughs and leans forward, kissing me before I can say anything else. 

"I love you," he says softly, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I love you, too," I mumble.

He smiles sadly and gently pulls away from me, stepping back slightly. "I'll message you any details about the kids and house later, okay?" he tells me.

I nod slightly, wiping my eyes. I stay quiet as I watch him wave goodbye and leave, barely managing to hold it together. As soon as he's gone, I slump to the ground, crying as quietly as I can. He's not coming back.