Addicted - rúben dias

talk about it

With a forceful shove, I slammed the heavy door shut behind me, the sound echoing through the quiet room. The anger that had boiled within me had finally found an outlet, and now I stood in the dimly lit pathway.

As I leaned against the cool wall, I began to contemplate my next move. My heart raced, and my thoughts were a chaotic mess. I needed to escape this suffocating atmosphere, to clear my mind. After a few moments, I made up my mind, the beach. it wasn't far, hardly any people where there at this time, and. it was tranquil and relaxing.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I started my journey to the beach. Each step felt like a struggle, as if my own body was resisting the idea of finding peace. My vision was blurred from the tears that still welled in my eyes, and my head pounded, not allowing me to relax.

the path to the beach was really familiar, but tonight, it felt like an impossible trek through a thick fog of emotions. the salty breeze carried the faint scent of the ocean, a promise of the serenity that awaited me.

by the time i reached the shoreline, i was physically and emotionally drained. i plopped down on the sandy beach, knees up to my chest, arms wrapped around them, and buried my head in my arms. at last, i gave in and let the salty tears stream down my face.

not long later, my small cries turned into quiet sobs, each fallen tear acting as a release of bottled up emotions.

My breath hitched, and a soft, quivering tremor coursed through my body, with each shaky inhale, my chest seemed to tighten, a heavy weight pressing down on me.

i was sat by myself at the beach, no friends, no place to stay, no one who cares about me.

i was taking deep breaths to help soothe me from my current condition, when i felt someone sit right beside me. they didn't look at me, i didn't look at them and no one said a word. "out of all places you chose to sit here?" i sniffled wiping my tears off my face, just to be ignored.

the fucking audacity. i turned to look at the person, even though it was quite hard in the dark, but they were just looking straight at the sea, looking as broken as me. my gaze in him softened immediately, "are you okay?" my voice trembled hoping to get a response. "does it fucking look like it?" he snapped back at me, still looking at sea. "sorry" i mumbled, feeling my eyes tear up once again.

i decided i would go check if the bar was still open, so i could get water for the both of us. i stood up and stumbled a little but i was able to keep my balance, before i could start walking i heard his voice. "w-where are you going" his voice cracked. "i was going to check if i could get us waters" i replied. "let me come with you" he sighed, getting up but still not making eye contact. i swear i've heard his voice before, i just can't pinpoint where i've heard it from.

once he stood up, we started walking, when suddenly a cold breeze blew instantly forming rough goosebumps on my skin, making me shiver and wrap my arms around my body. i was so stupid because i was only wearing biker shorts, and a top that was the size of a sports bra. "here" i heard the man say as he handed me his hoodie. "no no you need it" i politely rejected. "clearly not more than you, i'm fine" he whispered while putting the hoodie on me.

"thanks" i smiled at his actions. as soon as he put the hoodie on me though, it smelled really really familiar. i stopped walking to smell the hoodie properly so i could figure out who the man was. "um does it smell? i'm sorry i-" he stammered. then it hit me. "dom? dominik?" i interrupted him, remembering his scent from our calvin klein shoot.

once he heard me say his name, he quickly took a step back. "how do you know who i am?" he said quickly with panic in his voice. "i'm your biggest fucking fan" i said sarcastically, but he actually believed me. "oh um i-i have to go" he said trying to walk away as fast as he could. "dominik wait, i was joking." i stumbled after him, making him stop. "look, follow me" i said grabbing his hand, and walking into the light.

i turned from him before he could see my face, then fixed my hair and tried my best to fix my makeup. "tada" i said not really enthusiastically, but he still looked at me as if he still didn't know who i was. "geez am i that forgettable" i frowned, turning around to continue going to the bar. "athena, i was just playing" he caught up to me, smiling weakly but his eyes said it all. we both chuckled then made our way to the bar.

luckily it was a 24hr bar so we went to order our drinks. we got our waters and headed back to where we were sat. "do you want to talk about it" i asked softly while sipping on my water. he just shook his head. "do you want to talk about it?" he asked me, his voice coming out as a whisper. "if i talk about it, you need to as well" i replied now staring down at the sand. "deal" i heard him say before moving to face me and lifting my chin up, so i could look into his eyes for reassurance.

"okay, so my brother thinks i'm a slut and that no one loves me, ruben was just fucking using me for sex, the rest all turned on me probably because of a stupid rumor." i looked down. "oh" he said making me glare at him because of the bluntness in his response. "sorry i'm not good at comforting" he chuckled, making me chuckle as well.

"jack has been ignoring me the whole holiday, and when i found out his girlfriend was using him i tried to tell him but he never believed me. he told me he wish he never got in contact with me and that no one loves me and no one ever will love me." i sniffled playing with the sand around me, not daring to make eye contact because i didn't want him to see me crying.

"okay i showed him the voice recording then left immediately" i mumbled trying to control my shaking hands. "can i?" i heard dominik say quietly. i looked up to see what he wanted, and i saw his arms were stretched out like he wanted to give me a hug. i nodded my head slowly as he got closer and pulled me into a comforting hug. his hugs were different, he knew exactly where to put his hands, where to wrap his arms around me and how to hold me. as soon as I was in his embrace, I felt so much comfort and peace.

"im sure people love you" he tried reassuring me, but I just shook my head as tears slowly fell down my face. "come on, your parents?" he said holding me tighter. "uhm" I cleared my throat hoping he understood what I meant. "what?" he asked still clueless, pulling away so he could look into my eyes. "they're uhm.." I cleared my throat once again, not wanting to say the word. "oh! oh shit, im so sorry" he panicked, immediately pulled me back in and gently holding my head. "no it's fine. they are the reason me and jack wanted to get closer" i laughed in the crook of his neck.