TW: Heavy S/H, Gore, Blood, you get the idea
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It's been a week since Double Life has ended. Everyone has seemed to go back to normal. Grian is working on his rocky base, Tango is non-stop building Decked Out, Impulse and BDubs are acting as normal, hell, even Cleo is doing well! Everyone, but me.
I want to work on my base, prank Impulse or Gem, or even go to the End with Grian. But I can't. I can't move. I try and try again to stand up, and run as far as I can, but nothing happens. I'm trapped. I can't control my body. I'm screaming, but nothing comes out.
"It's your fault. It's all your fault! Everyone hates you! You're the devil! Everyone thinks you're insane! No one cares, no one! You're the reason everyone died! You killed people! You're a murderer! Killer! Devil! Murderer! KILLER! KILLER! KILLER!" the voice keeps telling me. I want it to stop. I want everything to go away. I just want it to be quiet.
I grab the razor that was next to me and hover it above my arm.
"Coward! Everyone wants you to do it! They want you to stab yourself! No one cares if you die! Why don't you get something bigger? Get a knife! Shove it into your arm! Pull it out and watch it bleed like you did to so many others!"
I feel myself move, but no pain. I start to stand up. I realize what I'm doing. I want to scream. I want to yell as loud as I can. I open the bathroom door, razor still in my hand. I'm walking to the kitchen.
"Do it! You coward! Do it! Do it! DO IT! DO IT!"
I drop the razor. I don't care anymore. The voice is right, no one cares. What would happen if I die here? Would anyone find me? Would they even realize I was gone? I don't know why I tried to keep myself from doing this. I've done it so many times before. The powdered snow, the cactus, feeling my health go back up from Scott eating. I remembered that I love it. That no one could stop me.
I walk closer to the knife block, this time, willingly. I finally grab a knife, the sharpest one I have. I shrink down to the floor, and I cut my arm all the way across. I do it again. And again. And again. And again. I go deeper. I can feel my veins bursting. Blood pools underneath me, but I don't care. I cut deeper, and harder. I think I can see bone, but I can't tell. My vision go dark. I keep going. It goes darker. I finally drop the knife, but only because I can't hold it anymore. I barely here it clatter on the ground. I see a dark silhouette, but then, nothing more.
