Did You Know Me? (Shubman Gill x Ishan Kishan)

Away, away, away

Like an idiot, Ishan watched Shubman leaving from the window.

The walk didn't seem like Shubman's. Ishan hadn't seen him slouch like this since he'd first met the guy, when he was the new Under 19 sensation, pushed into much brighter limelight than he could deal with. He used to try to blend in with the background during those days. He hated attention.

Over the years, he had changed a lot, and this slouching gait did not suit him anymore.

Why on earth should Shubman Gill try to blend in with the background now? He was the whole country's favourite person. He was also Ishan's favourite person, even if he tried to deny it.

A tiny part of Ishan wished Shubman would look up at the window.

Of course, he didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, in his sleep, Ishan was in an endless stretch of white landscape. The only thing visible was Shubman, walking slouchily away from him.

Away, away, away.

He was so far away now, he was barely a dot in the distance.

But Ishan knew it was Shubman, anyway.

Then the dot was gone.

Away, away, away.

Shubman was gone from his life.

Ishan started awake breathlessly. It took him several minutes to simply get himself breathe.

Shubman wasn't gone permanently, he'd be back, Ishan could have him back any time he wanted....

He could, right?

Ishan rolled over and snatched up his phone. There was no new missed call or text from Shubman since yesterday, before he flew from Bihar.

After Ishan had called him a guest, it wasn't surprising.

Maybe...maybe he would call him tomorrow. Maybe he should call him now. He pressed open the contact.

His fingers failed him at the last moment.

He wouldn't call Shubman. He wouldn't. He wasn't an idiot who would did things they regretted immediately after waking up from a nightmare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next night, the landscape was red like blood.

But Shubman was walking away there, too.

Away. Away. Away.

Ishan woke up, drenched in sweat in the middle of winter.

Stop it, he scolded his subconsciousness. Stop it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The third night, the landscape was rainbow-coloured.

It would have been pretty if Shubman had not been walking away.

Away, away, away...

Ishan found himself close to tears when he jerked awake.

Shubman wouldn't go away. Shubman would never go away. What did his nightmares even mean to do?

Turn him paranoid?

Shubman couldn't possibly go away.

Then it struck Ishan that for the past days, he had been trying to make up his mind to cut off Shubman from his life. Permanently.

Of course, they would be playing together and all, so it wouldn't be completely possible (which had been a tiny relief, to be honest), but he would try his best to cut him off.

Who had he been kidding?

He couldn't live without Shubman's constant presence in his life. Whatever he did, wherever he went, Shubman had to be there.

His first best friend. His only best friend.

The love of his life, too....which just proved everything was so messed up.

Why was he so stupid?

It wasn't Shubman's fault. Before Ishan realized he was in love with Shubman, they used to play the couple thing as a joke. Shubman hadn't been the only one in the joke. 

Why was he so stupid?

Ishan stayed awake the rest of the night, opening and closing the flight booking sites with shaking fingers on loop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, when he announced he was off for the airport, his father said sternly, "Just because you have the money doesn't mean you waste it. It would have been a lot economical and a lot more sensible if you had just talked when he came over."

"Papa," Raj warned.

"What? I'm just saying..."

"I'm sorry," said Ishan, because he was. His father didn't need to know if he was sorry about the money or acting like a total jerk to Shubman. "Bye, all."

"Good luck," said his mother.

"I don't need luck, mum!"

"Are you sure you don't?" asked his mother drily. "If I was Shubman, I wouldn't be talking to you anytime soon."

Ishan figured he hadn't managed to mask the flash of fear from his eyes, because his brother, his eternal saviour, gave his mother a look that said 'please stop talking' and came to give Ishan a hug.

"But honestly," Raj brooded. "Maybe you do need the luck."