Questions for Answers

Chapter Six

Now that I had my camcorder back, I was starting to feel hopeful again. I knew that I wanted to watch what was on there immediately, but it wasn't going to be that easy. I couldn't charge it up at home because anyone could've walked into my room at any time to see it. Plus, if I did get it to charge, I didn't want anyone inside the house to hear what was being said to me. Not even Tilly. Since I had no privacy, I had thought about possibly bringing it to school and charging it somewhere. But then again, I didn't want to risk anything by bringing it outside with me.

So I decided to keep it hidden in my bag for now. Since I had gotten it back, I wasn't worried or depressed anymore. I had to get Trisha to trust me again so that I would be able to leave the house. I knew that sneaking out was wrong, and I wasn't going to risk doing it again. So I chose to start trying in school.

For the next few weeks, I began doing well in all of my classes, studying on my off period, doing more around the house, and even being civil with Trisha. I could tell that she appreciated this new transformation that I had made. What she didn't realize was that it only happened because I had what I needed. I was surprised, but she still hadn't found out that I got my camcorder back. Maybe she just forgot where she hid it or forgot about it altogether, which in both cases, would be good for me.

She started easing up on me though, which was exactly what I needed. She started letting Kat bring me home from school again, allowed me to at least go to one place on the weekends, and started giving me allowance again for staying on top of my chores. Tim also talked some sense into her because he said that what she was doing was detrimental to our relationship. Told her to take it easy on me because I was still just a kid. I always appreciated how Tim advocated for me.

Since it was Saturday, I thought I'd try my luck and ask her if I could go somewhere with Kat. I greeted her in the kitchen, "Hey, Trisha."

She smiled at me, "Oh, hey, River. Are you feeling any better?"

Last week, I had gotten sick from eating cafeteria food. I nodded, "Yeah, I'm all good now. Remind me to never forget to pack my lunch again."

She laughed, "Well I'm glad to hear it." I guess I lingered for a bit too long because she noticed that I hadn't said another word after that, "Alright, what do you want to ask me?"

"Sorry, it's still kinda hard to...never mind. Do you think it'll be okay for me to go hang out with Kat at the park today? I already got all of my chores done and I don't have any more homework to do", I said.

She began washing dishes, "Are you just going to be at the park?"

I shrugged, "That's the plan, but we might end up going somewhere else, you know?"

"And how late do you plan on staying out? You know we have church in the morning", she said.

"No, I know, I don't plan on being out too late. Maybe until, like, ten?" She gave me a look, "Nine?"

She sighed, "I'm not against you hanging out with Kat. It's just, you still haven't fully earned my trust back. I know you've been doing well and I've rewarded you for it. But you have lied about a lot of things. I want to believe that you'll be where you say you'll be, with whom you say you'll be with. I want to be someone you can come to about anything. But I can still tell that we aren't as close as we should be. And maybe I'm to blame for that. But you've played your part in it too."

I mean, I was trying with Trisha, but that didn't mean everything was just peachy. For years, I had felt unloved by her so she couldn't expect me to have just forgotten about it all just because I recently started playing nice. She always struggled to see me as her own. Raised me a bit differently than my siblings. There was always a part of me that she despised, and tried to control. I guess she tried to take away the "bad" qualities I got from my real parents. But she wasn't successful no matter how hard she tried.