Shaken Up: It's Life

8.Never change

Beyutiful

How am I supposed to feel ?
I can't see my grandmother. I can't come around the family because of how I react to the shit they put me through. The shit is not far! I just wanna get away.
I was so deep in my thoughts I forgot osama was sitting next to me

"You straight?"
He asked looking at me as I go through my thoughts.
"B! ... u good,"
I nodded my head as I held back tears
"Nahh u ain't ....we need to drill some shit ?"
I shook my head.
"Who did something ? What's wrong? "
I couldn't help but to wipe the falling warm tears as the questions continued.
" B ?.... What's wrong ? ... u need something ?"
I sat there .
"U needa hug?... hell give me a hug."

"I'm fine osama."
I continue to try and clean my face

"So why u crying B ?"

"I'm okay...I'm not crying."
I struggle to contain myself.

"No your not ...what's the problem? ...can I help ? Is there something I can do?"
I smile to myself because he's actually being here for me.

"My grandmother just had surgery and I haven't seen her because my auntie feel as though I'm back doorin her and I don't even go over there ...my mom called me going crazy about beyonka and keion ...like it's frustrating...I thank u for offering your help but it's nothing you can do really ...I have to fix it "
I burst into tears and he took my hand .

"Well whatever u want to do I'll be here...sometimes it's good to distance yourself from family...u may actually see things differently...or them...in the mean time focus on you and our son pursue and work towards, being the best mother it's only one of you and it's your life B."
I let the words soak in as though I was sitting in a warm bath.
He's right. It's my life and I have to live it.

"Thank u for being here talking to me...I needed that."
I cleaned my face as he smirked.

"Hold up".
He went out the back door before I could mutter anything out.
"Look"
I finished dabbing my eyes as I turned in the bar stood to see him holding flowers out the back yard.
My heart instantly skipped a beat as a smile grew on my face while I took the flowers.

"Awww osama Thank you ...the big bad wolf has a soft spot after all"
I smile as we shared a hug

"U know , I ain't never like seeing you sad B."
He squeezed me tighter. I wanted to melt in this man's arms.
All the times he's made me cry and he's never been so kind. Now that I'm actually crying about other things he's there like a big teddy bear...this is the osama I fell in love with.

Then his phone rings.
He pulls away and answers it. Before he walked out the door I could hear a female's voice and I wanted to scream.

We just was having a moment then this muthafucka wanna run to answer it better be some money!!! I'm not even going to react because I know what I signed up for. But at the same time it's about respect. I am your first baby mama slash the main bitch that knows EVERYTHING and clearly u love me. So don't disrespect me.

"My bad."
He walked back in the kitchen

"Was it some money?"

"What you mean?"
I chuckle as I look at the flowers.

"Stop disrespecting me...you really need to move right before you lose me for good...answer the phone when ya fuck ass walk out side because next time I might snatch that shit off u ear, u know my body..."
We continue to stare at each other as a sinister smile creeps on his face.
Just as I thought he was about to speak he lunged at me picking me up in one swift motion. I struggle to get out of his grip as he drags me to the kitchen sink filled with water.

"You want me to show you disrespect?!"
He pushed my head into the water causing me to claw and scratch at him and the sink for air.
"Apologies bitch"
He said pulling me up as I gasped for air, but I stayed quiet...then I thought about my son.

"I'm sorry"
I managed to get out as I cough up water.

"Now put your shoes on"
He forcefully let go of my hair leaving me panting over the sink. I took my flowers and walked to our bedroom to change clothes.

"I ain't got time for you to change get your shoes and let's go"
He pushed me out the room to the stairs. Jogging down the stairs to the garage door I put my black huaraches on and got in the truck.