43 | Ace Of Cards

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L O R E N Z O

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L O R E N Z O


Day in and day out she was the only thought that had consumed my mind.

She plagued my thoughts and although I had eyes on her at all times to comfort my worries, it was almost torturous.

It was painful seeing the light that had made my life so warm be so far away from me.

And knowing that she thought of me as a monster that had done nothing but lie to her broke my heart.

I love her with my entire life. I love her more than the air I breathe and a life without her is a cruel punishment for my sins. It's the only torture that I'm unable to handle.

Everything around me had grown to suffocate me and even though I bought a new house and a new apartment in the city, it didn't heal the ache in my heart.

If anything, I wanted Catalina to experience everything in life with me. I wanted her to sneakily make me cuddle her plushies while I slept and to come home to her baking.

I wanted to be the arms that kept her safe and comforted.

Fuck.

I want nothing else in this life except her.

And my father dead.

I'm going to spend the rest of my life looking for her in everything I see. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with my heart missing from my chest because she walks around with my existence in her hands.

I wish the world were ending tomorrow so that I could kiss her and hug her and love her like it was the last day on earth. Like we had no time in the world except one day and we'd spend that entire day creating eternity.

My love for her is immortal. Even if I were to die, my soul would continue to cherish and adore the girl that had become my first everything.

My first love.

My first angel. Darling. Baby. Sweetheart. Doll. Princess. Love.

My girl. She's my girl and she has to be my girl forever- I can't imagine existence without her. Life is all too miserable without her. I want to repent and fall to my knees over and over for her. The ache in my chest feels hallow and empty and my soul feels elusive without her presence in my life.

"Hm?" Begrudgingly, I answer the call from Jakob- my half brother who I reconnected with after the loss of Catalina.

"Brother, she's-"

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