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Which name do you prefer? Atticus or Nico? I love both so much and I can't decide

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Which name do you prefer? Atticus or Nico? I love both so much and I can't decide. Atticus gives me such daddy vibes and Nico gives me such boyfriend vibes. Help a girl out...


C A T A L I N A


"Do you promise to never leave me no matter what." His calloused hands cradled my face as he stared me deep in my eyes, a lone tear dragging down his face.

"I promise, no matter what. Just don't hurt me too bad."

Like a moth to a flame, I was attracted the very thing that could kill me. The creation of my destruction.

The potential of surrendering to my pain and misery so that I'd be absolutely nothing. Id let it consume me whole and wrap around my skin like a hug except for the fact that it is anything but a hug.

Its suffocating.

Like having a plastic bag held over your head to restrict air flow. To rid you of all your senses so much so that you begin to panic and fight to breathe.

So that your nervous system enters a state of fight or flight.

I'm not fully surrendering to the pain if I don't let it kill me, right?

If I'm fighting to breathe then maybe I don't want to die.

Maybe I want to be reborn.

I wish so badly to skip past this part of my life- like skipping to the good part of a song.

I wish thats how life worked.

You have to sit through the bad part of the song and you'll get to the good part.

After all, the song wouldn't be whole without the bad part. And the good part of the song wouldn't mean as much without the bad part.

Maybe this chapter of my life is what makes my existence so meaningful. I'm reminded of how deeply I can feel which only supports the fact that I'm a sweet, sensitive, and caring girl.

A girl who loves with her entire heart and nothing less, only more.

What is art if it wasn't my love for him?

To devote myself to him like religion is perhaps the biggest risk taken on this earth.

I have been walking in circles, literally and metaphorically. I have tried to wrap my head around what no longer exists in the grasp of my hands but the memory of my mind and the only thing that can truly comfort me is my imagination.

A separate world where there is us.

A world where I can look Lorenzo in the eyes with nothing but admiration and love and passion. I had the whole world beneath my fingertips yet it only meant something when I had him.

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