A Sour Grape In A Bowl Of Sweet Grapes

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Moving school made me forget how to make friends, the main element, The number one assignment in human interaction. Most times , I can't even say hello without a chip in my voice. So, I distance myself away from other people to prevent embarrassment. I can already sense from a mile away that trying to make friends would end in an awkward situation after the first three sentences.
Making friends seems like such an easy and simple task to do, right? Step one; Go up to someone, Step two; greet them, and Step three; compliment them, then the rest is supposed to just flow. I tried the simple three easy steps. Go up to someone, greet them, and compliment them. But, for some reason they just don't work for people like me. People who are awkward and antisocial. It's like the three easy steps have a policy that doesn't work for awkward people. Like they're against us. Supposed what I didn't know was there's a small print printed underneath the steps that states, "Anti-social people are prevented from using these steps". I guess I should have read the fine print.
At times I just wait for someone to come up to me instead. I try to look friendly,  try to dress how they dress. But it's like there's a big sign above my head that reads "Don't talk to me". It feels like I'm trying so hard to chase people and have a friend that I start to lose myself within the process. I try so hard to be liked and fit in, that my actual personality fades in the dark. I begin to not even recognize myself. Even after how hard I try, how hard I try to talk like them, how hard I try to dress like them, how hard I try to be like them. I'm still sitting alone a lunch table. Nobody keeps me company but the warmth of my phone.
Moments where I have been alone so much I soon become comfortable with the loneliness and accept it. I look around and see everyone chatting away. I think for a moment, maybe being a loner isn't that bad. I don't have to talk in my school voice. I don't have to constantly think of the next conversation I have to carry. It's just me and my thoughts. But, one can only take being alone for so long. My thoughts soon turn against me and I'm left in envy.