I think I'm lost without you [Paul Lahote]

Chapter 12: Tell me it hurts but it goes away

In the moments following Carlisle's reveal, he checked all of Noah's injuries and bandages as he had initially promised, taking care to be extremely gentle. Noah experienced all of this numb. Carlisle seemed to understand that she was mentally removed from the situation, but he continued to talk her through the process regardless, describing exactly what he was going to do before he did it.

    When he had finished examining her and treating her wounds, Carlisle told Noah about his PhD in psychology and his years of experience as a therapist. He was offering her his services, Noah realized, but all she could manage was a noncommittal shrug when he finished talking. Carlisle did not seem to take offense to this, in fact he just continued talking to her softly all the while fetching her another blanket and a glass of water from the pitcher that Noah hadn't previously noticed. He handed her the cup and Noah held it in her hand limply.

"Dr Cullen?" She finally asked, breaking out of her trance. "Who all knows about this?"

"Just myself, your uncle, and the necessary authorities," he responded gently. "I want to stress that there's nothing to be ashamed of Noah, what happened to you was not your fault, but the choice to tell additional people remains yours. I did not tell anyone that wasn't necessary. And if you please, it's just Carlisle."

Noah wanted to smirk at his attempt at returning her joke, but her lips barely managed to quirk upwards. Her heart felt marginally lighter knowing that the only person who would look at her differently would be her uncle and she did feel immense gratitude at Carlisle's discretion, but Noah still couldn't stop the sinking feeling in her gut. The thought of seeing Billy under these circumstances was overwhelming and what was she supposed to tell Jacob and everybody else? They would certainly question what had happened to her and this one couldn't really be chalked up to a skateboarding accident.

"Your friends have been driving my staff up the walls to see you, would you like me to let them back?" Carlisle suggested lightly.

"What if they ask me what happened?" Noah asked, scratching at the edge of her cast.

"If it is agreeable to you," he prefaced. "I will tell them a simplified version of the story and then make it very clear that no questions are allowed under any circumstances."

"And you think they'll listen to you?" Noah asked. She wasn't trying to be rude or question his authority but Noah was genuinely curious if he was the type of person - vampire - who could keep that group of ingrates under control. She imagined, from some experience, that they were not an easy bunch to corral. They only behaved when it suited them.

"I can be very convincing," Carlisle assured with a smirk.

Noah nodded and then spoke wryly, "You know it's hard to imagine that everyone doesn't suspect you're a lot older than you seem."

Carlisle blinked in masked shock. "You know about us." It was not a question and Noah suddenly had the thought that she was probably not supposed to know about them. It was their secret to share or not share and she had just blatantly disregarded that.

"Oh yeah, uh, I'm sorry. When they told me about the whole werewolf thing, it kinda just came out. No one told me specifically, but Old Quil mentioned something in the legends and well, I picked up on it. You know what with our tribe being your natural born enemies and all. I swear I haven't told anyone though," Noah rambled. She didn't want Carlisle to think that the wolves had just exposed his secret without any regard and she certainly didn't want him to think that she was going around and blabbing her mouth about it to anyone who would listen.

"You have nothing to fear from me or my family." Carlisle insisted. He seemed almost sad at the thought of another human seeing him as a monster, and Noah was struck by the fact that he wasn't angry that she knew but rather worried that she was scared of him. As far as Noah could detect, he had dedicated his life to helping humans, she wondered how important being accepted by them was to him.