The smell of fresh paint was possibly permanently in my nose by now. I think I even had a few spots in my hair that I couldn't get rid of yet.
"Dad, you missed a spot." I looked over as Nathaniel appeared in the doorway.
"Where?"
"Up there. By the window." He pointed and I followed his finger to find the spot of the wall that was still white. I was repainting a lot of the house trying to get rid of memories from my marriage. Nathaniel was helping a little when he could but with exams coming up at school, he had a lot of study to do.
"Thanks. What do you think?"
"It's, uh, it's different."
"You don't like it?" I stepped down off the ladder I was on to look at my work. I'd just finished a deep blue feature wall in the bedroom and I thought it looked pretty good. I had begged Ben to paint it blue when we moved in but he hated the colour; said it gave the room a depressing atmosphere.
"No, I just-it'll take some getting used to. Like everything." When I looked back over at him, I noticed his eyes were downcast.
"You doing okay?"
"Kind of." I crossed the room and hugged him the best I could while trying not to get paint on him.
"Nate, talk to me. What's bothering you?"
"I'm just getting used to only you being around. It's weird."
"I know. I'm getting used to it too. I'm not used to having to do everything myself. But it's only been three months. We'll get there." He nodded his head and pulled away.
"Hey, while you're on this re-decorating streak, can we do some stuff in my room?"
"Um, depends on what it is. We can't go totally crazy."
"Well, I'd love a new bed. And maybe a coat of paint wouldn't be too bad."
"That sounds doable." I thought it over for a bit. "Why don't I get in some nicer clothes and we can go look for a bed?"
"Today?"
"Why not? I've got time. And you need a break. You've had your head in those books all morning."
"Oh. Okay. Sure. Fifteen minutes?" I nodded and he disappeared, calling out for Alexis. I quickly packed up the paint and brushes, admiring my handy work before hurriedly changing out of my paint-splattered clothes.
"Alexis, are you ready to go?" I knocked on her bedroom door and was barely finished talking before she yanked it open.
"Yep! Daddy, can we get a fancy light for my room? Nate said we're going shopping for his room." She'd dropped my name off the end of 'daddy' when Ben and I first told her we were splitting but she was staying with me.
"What kind of fancy light?" I asked her.
"Like the one Bridget has in her room."
"We'll see, okay? I don't know if we can find one just like it but we can probably find one almost like it."
"Okay." She reached up to hold my hand as we made our way downstairs to find Nathaniel frozen at the front door. It took me a moment to register Ben stood on the doorstep, a hopeful look on his face.
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"I wanted to see the kids. Is that illegal?"
"Kind of. Your weekend with them isn't for another two weeks."
"Oh, come on, Charlie. We don't have to stick to that strict schedule. We can work around it for us. You know that."
"Not today. We've got plans." I tightened my hold on Alexis' hand briefly to keep her quiet. She took the hint and just looked over at her big brother.
"Please, Charlie? I want to introduce them to Daniel. He's leaving in a couple days to go to Edinburgh for a few-"
"Daniel? Who's Daniel? Is he-?" I cut myself off, my free hand flying to cover my mouth as I connected the dots in my mind. "He's the one you...oh my god."
"Charlie..."
"You know what? Ask the kids if they want to go. I can't force them to stay." With that, I spun on my heel and rushed to the living room, flopping onto the sofa as tears began to fall from my eyes. I could hear Nathaniel and Alexis talking to Ben at the door until it clicked shut and there was silence. The tears fell even more as I realised they'd gone with him.
"Dad?" I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder and Nathaniel's voice reached my ears. My eyes flew open to find both my kids looking at me. "Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah. You didn't go with Ben?"
"No. No way. It's not time to go with him. We want to stay with you, right Lexi?" Nathaniel looked at his sister and she nodded intently, scrambling onto the sofa beside me.
"He hurt you, daddy. Nate says that he did a really bad thing so we have to make sure you're happy." Alexis told me. I smiled through my tears, hugging her tightly.
"Thank-you sweetie. But just remember, Ben's still your dad too. You don't have to be mean to him just because he hurt me."
"We know." Nathaniel assured me.
"Okay." I sniffed and wiped my eyes. "You guys still want to go shopping?"
"Are you sure? We can stay home." I shook my head and stood up, still holding tight to Alexis who had refused to let go.
"No. Let's go. I can't let him get to me like this anymore." Nathaniel just nodded and we went out to the car, locking the door on the way.
An hour later, we were wandering through the furniture store, inspecting the beds closely for Nathaniel. He'd already decided that about a dozen of them were 'perfect' for his room. Alexis was starting to get bored, laying on one of the beds nearby and humming some random song to herself.
"Nathaniel, we don't have to choose one today." I said to him as he checked out one more bed.
"I know. I just want to see what's here. There's so many to choose from, dad."
"Well, how about we get something to eat and you can think about which one you like?"
"Okay." I collected Alexis and the three of us headed to the mall's food court to sit down and talk. I enjoyed the time with my kids doing normal boring things. It was something we hadn't done much of in the past few months. So it was nice to get back to.
