I spent Monday and Tuesday at home with Nathaniel, keeping an eye on him and making sure he was okay. He was pretty subdued for the most part of the time, only perking up a little when Ben brought home a new football jersey for him. He'd always loved football, not that he was very good at it, but he loved watching the matches on TV and going to the live games at school.
"Do you feel like you can go to school tomorrow?" I asked him when we were sitting in the living room on Tuesday night. Ben was upstairs putting Alexis to bed so we had some time to talk.
"At Oak Park?"
"No. At Pinewood. I've been emailing the headmistress and she's happy to let you start whenever you'd like to."
"I can just switch schools. Just like that?"
"Yes. In this case, you can."
"Can I, like, maybe try half a day?"
"What do you mean?" I frowned a little at his request.
"I mean, if I go in the morning but I get, you know, overwhelmed or whatever I can go home."
"Of course you can. Nate, after this weekend, Ben and I aren't going to push you to go to a school if you're not happy there. That's not to say you can't go to school at all, but if you're not happy and comfortable at the school, then we'll find another one."
"I don't have a uniform."
"I'll get you one when we get there tomorrow, okay?"
"What about books and things? All my stuff is still at Oak Park."
"Don't worry about that. For tomorrow you can just borrow some things and Ben or I will get your stuff from Oak Park." I felt like I was having to convince him to go so I tried a different tactic. "Nathaniel, if you really don't want to go tomorrow, you don't have to. But I have to go back. You'll be at home alone tomorrow which I'm not really comfortable with."
"I do want to go, I just, I'm nervous, dad."
"Why?"
"What if it turns out like at Oak Park? What if everybody hates me?"
"Look at it this way; I already work there and they like me. A lot of them know that I'm married to Ben. But I'm not the only staff member there who's married to someone of the same sex. One of the other teachers is a lesbian with a female fiancée."
"Oh." Just then Ben reappeared in the living room and leaned over the back of the sofa.
"How's it going here guys?" He asked. I looked up at him with a smile.
"I think we're getting somewhere."
"I'm going to try school tomorrow, Ben." Nathaniel told him.
"Oh. Okay then. You sure you're feeling up to it?"
"I think so. Dad's been telling me about stuff and I'm feeling okay."
"Alright then. I'm guessing you'll take him when you go in, Charlie?"
"Yeah. It's easier that way." I sighed. "I think it's time we all get some sleep, yeah? It's been a long few days. And if you're off to school tomorrow, you'll want some sleep, young man."
"Yeah, okay dad." Nathaniel grinned and leaned over to hug me. "Thanks."
"Anytime, Nate." I hugged him back, watching as he stood up and hugged Ben before heading upstairs to his room.
"You think he's ready?" Ben asked me, coming around to sit beside me. I curled up into his side, allowing him to pull me close.
"I don't know. But I can't stay home any more days. And maybe it'll be good for him."
"I hope so. I don't like seeing him like this."
"Neither do I." I sighed, tucking my head under his chin. "Neither do I."
--------------------
Nick came up to me when I got to the staffroom the next day after taking Nathaniel to meet up with his 'buddy'. I was putting my things in a locker and trying to figure out how to keep awake when Nick appeared suddenly, making me jump.
"Hey. Oh, Charlie, you look terrible." I looked at him and must have had an offended look on my face because he hurried to speak again. "No offense. I just meant you look like you could do with about ten years of sleep."
"I'm not offended. I'm just really tired." I sighed through a yawn and Nick laughed.
"You look it."
"It's just been a long, stressful, few days. I'm worried about Nathaniel. And he's starting here today and I..." Trailing off, I leaned against the wall.
"Here? I thought he went to Oak Park?"
"He does. Did. I don't know." I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "I don't want to talk about it." I didn't mean to snap at him and felt bad when I saw the hurt flash in his eyes.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to pry." He apologised.
"No. It's okay. I'm sorry. I'm just not really up for talking about it right now."
"Okay." He turned to head off to his class but stopped and looked back at me. "If you do want to talk, I'm here for you."
"Thanks, Nick. You're a good friend." I smiled a little at him and he walked away.
I spent the morning only half focused on the students I was teaching, the other half of my mind was keeping tabs on my phone, waiting for a call from Nathaniel to tell me he wasn't coping. Even though I wanted him to be okay, there was a tiny part of me that kind of wanted him to not be okay and need me. I guess I was struggling with the fact that he was growing up and didn't need Ben and I as much. If the events of the weekend were anything to go by, he definitely still needed us but maybe not as much as he used to.
At lunch, I grabbed my lunch from the staffroom and headed to the main building where I'd told Nathaniel I'd meet him. I ended up having to wait for a few minutes before I spotted him running over. He was smiling, which my heart flutter. I hoped that meant he was happy.
"Hey dad."
"Hey Nathaniel. How's your day so far?" I hugged him briefly when he got close.
"Great! Dad, I've made a friend." He sounded so excited that I had to laugh.
"That's awesome."
"His name's Matt and he's in my English class. Dad, it's so good here. People talk to me and want me to be in their group for homework assignments."
"That's good, Nate. What about the work? Is it okay?"
"I think so. I mean, it's only been a few hours. But I think I'll keep up."
"Nathaniel, I'm so glad you're happy here. But remember to keep Ben and I informed that you're okay."
"I know. Hey, can I go and have lunch with Matt?"
"Sure. You remember where to meet me after school?"
"Yep." He hugged me again suddenly. "Thanks, dad."
With that, he ran off in search of his new friend and I watching him proudly. I was glad he'd managed to quickly fit in and hoped that it stayed rather than just be a thing because he was 'the new kid'.
