Dare to love (Sakook)

Indirected calls

I heard it!!!.. It was her voice for sure. I am sure it was her. But it can't be her. How can she be here even if she was so close, I never heard Tzuyu mentioning anyone named Sana. Was it my delusion that played with me or was it her? I can't figure it out...I am running to square one...I am being restless and this is all so inclusive that I can feel my veins popping.

"Jungkook!!", I flinched as I heard a tiny yell from the outside. I put on a bit smile and went out. I pulled my jacket closer to my chest and stuffed my pockets with my cold hands. Indeed the winter is knocking on our door. It's evident. I passed on a smile as I took the bag that was in her hand. I straightly kept it at the back of the seat and looked over at her. She was still standing there as if sniffed something fishy. 

We locked eyes for a moment, it was a weird feeling. As if she was trying to tell me something, that previous smile of hers mysteriously went away. "What happened Tuyu", she didn't react. I was going to ask again but instead, I went towards her and held her hand, maybe the winds got her a bit chilly...even though it's nonsense, I can't seem to think anything right now...Was it really Sana???

Jungkook!!! get your shit together, I yelled at myself, this is not the right time to think of anything else.

 "Is everything fine?", she looked at our hand and then back into my eyes. "are you happy with me?", it took me a bit back. I didn't see this coming.

Coming to the question, of course, I feel happy when I am with her. I mean who doesn't when they are with their friend ~~.....fiance.

I shook my head and chuckled a bit, partly on my thoughts and certainly to lighten up the mood. "I am happy, of course, I am", I reassured  as I opened the door for her. She gave me a lip-tied smile and then stepped in. Jogging back to my seat, I put on the engine. I was about to ask her what she brought and who accompanied her...but I halted when I saw her looking out of the window, through the reflection, I could figure out she wasn't smiling at all...

What happened to her now?

"Do you love me", I looked at her surprisingly, The environment was sharp enough to not make a joke, and neither could I think of any. I ignored the question as the light turned green...What should I answer? I do like her, like her as someone she is. Respect her the way she presents herself and proud of the way she chooses herself to be. She has everything that I admire, her personality is just so pure.  But do I love her like that? It was a question I always kept for later to answer. 

"Answer me Jungkook", her voice turned stern, and at that moment I knew I had to answer. Soon enough we were in front of her condo. 

"You're going to be my wife", I said but got a certain sharp pain in my chest. I held her hand, softening my eyes. If I can't make her happy, what's the point of all of this? "And I chose you to be my future......I adore you for my future, with my heart and that defines my love", I took a deep breath, swallowing up all the facts that I wanted to hide. She smiled a bit but was hesitant. "Why did you ask that?", my question made her smile turned down.

"It's just that we never say I love you to each other as other couples do...plus I think", she stopped, gripping my hand tighter. "I think your heart isn't here for the last few months", "It's probably work stress", she mumbled the reason herself. But when I focused on what she said, it turned my spine a bit too stoic. 

She stepped out of the car, and I had to warm my heart voluntarily before going out with her. Is it true, am I ignoring the possibilities and pain of my existence in this relationship? The world I am going to create is surely something that needs my full attention because it's not just about me...It's more about her.