Dare to love (Sakook)

Corrupt Confessions

It's been two days since he called. I feel like we are back to the times when he used to be my friend, he surely treats me right, but it doesn't feel so right to me. As if ....as if he doesn't love me. With these thoughts, I passed through my colleagues towards his desk. I frowned not finding him on the spot and went to his alibi. 

"Mark", he looked up, attentively listening. "Where's Jungkook?", he shifted on his seat and smiled. "He left half an hour ago, he said he'll be going to Mingyu's apartment...I guess all his friends were there too", this is what I was talking about. I have to talk to his deskmate about his regular things when I am just a few floors apart from him. I beamed at Mark and then went back to my desk. I was still in my thoughts when I heard a few notifications on my phone. 

It was him explaining where he was and why he left in a hurry...Mingyu was already drunk and couldn't handle drunk Bam Bam. 

This is so mixed, my emotions, my ideas. For a record when I confronted him that day, I recollected his answers and my feelings attached to it..all were negatives. It felt like I was the only one excited here and he was trying to balance it, he was much more alive before we got together. He was much more happy when ....when we didn't have a name for our relationship...

But I love him, he still treats me the best, never makes excuses of any kind, and is so generous. How can I let him go? How can I subsidize everything when am getting all that I ever wanted? I still love him. 

I stepped out of the office with my thoughts and soon enough got the distance covered from my office. These insecurities, these doubts were clouding my mind enough to not let me focus on anything else. We're going to get engaged this week....and even if I was excited...I think it's pretty rushed for us...

We only started dating six months ago, even after knowing each other for years and me confessing to him a year ago....but why does it still feel a bit rushed? Why does it feel that it's not something he wants...I want answers...and this time....clear ones. 

I changed my suit into pajamas and relaxed on the couch, at least I tried to relax because my whole body was shivering as I made the call. I could feel the cold sweats running down my forehead. 

With a few more rings, he picked the call up, I could hear a faint snoring noise behind him, and then he went silent for a while....

"Jungkook!", there was no answer, my worries turned sharper when I heard a whimper from him

"T-Tzuyu?", he answered back, his voice a bit shrill, a hiccup followed it. 

I simply hummed as he took a minute, to maybe sit upright. 

"Tzuyu?", his voice got a bit clearer now but it still felt somewhat heavy and tired. 

"Ca~~ Can w-we t-talk t-t-tomorrow?", I felt myself lost for words, I just hummed when he called my name again. This time I replied with a bold yes. It's not like he doesn't like me, he surely does, he cares for me, that's too evident...why am I having these doubts? Maybe because It's always me who initiate, be it anything for us...I don't see him the way I thought he would be as a lover, I don't see him that happy. 

"Is everyone fine there", I asked relaxing a bit...that's what he did to me... made me relaxed every time I felt my world a bit unstable. "Y-yeah...yes", he coughed and after hearing a relieved sigh, he turned silent...I heard a loud thud, maybe the phone slipped...followed it was cute little snores and a bit of Bam Bam's complaint about his heavy body weight that might have partially on him. I find it a bit funny. 

"Alright Jungkook...let's meet tomorrow...have a good night", I greeted and got some more snores in reply, couldn't hold my chuckles back. I was almost going to cut the call when I heard a bit of Jungkook's muzzled-up voice...